Have you ever come to the end, and the person you thought you were seems not to fit? When you look into someone else's eyes and see no glow anymore? When it finally hits you that its over?

Nothing you can do or say can change what is coming next. Knowing in your heart that this is wrong, and being done for the best of reasons, but for the worse of situations. They have to make a decision and live with it, and by the by, you do also. The live with it part at least.

I don't think i have ever truly fallen in love, and that's pretty sad to say at 45. But it comes when it comes and you take it that way. Its impossible to fight ghosts, and when things like children and grandchildren are in the mix, and even being held apart unless you conform, its a battle one shouldn't even start.

She is brilliant and beautiful, personable and witty. Her smile can light up a room. Shes self-centered and selfish, more then a little scared, and doesn't have enough self-confidence. But then again aren't we all?

I want to rail at the gods .. lash out at something, anything! Scream at the top of my lungs and ask "WHY!!!" Give some meaning to why I am feeling like this! Its hard when your all alone and staring at the void and lie to yourself. Things get crystal clear and there is no where to run and hide. She has decided that you are not worth fighting for .. or that maybe shes too afraid of losing something that is much more important to her. Either way you have to face the fact that you are not worth the fight, that you have just flat out come up short.

Its been a quick 5 years, a lot of good and a bunch of bad, but looking back from my perspective, it was all worth it. And even if I had realized I was fighting a fight I don't think I could have won as things went, I think I would still do it all over again.

I'm not gonna go all Hallmark here and talk about letting go and getting birds back, but its strange how appropriate that seems all of a sudden. Not going to do anything stupid either. I gonna have a real good cry, probably several, then I'm going to focus back on my business that is in shambles because of this, and start to rebuild a new life.

I know this hurting will go away slowly, and eventually Ill be the Little Prince and can fondly think of my little fox occasionally.

It still amazes me with everything that's happened and all the hurt that is there, I can still say I love you baby and hope you get everything you need.

Je t'aime