If you are in a bad marriage no one has to confirm it for you. You don’t need Dr. Phil or Opra to tell you that you can’t stand each other, you rarely communicate and divorce seems like a likely ending to a marriage turned bad. However, the fact that you are searching for answers means that you still have hope.
I wish it were true that every bad marriage could be saved but it’s just not the case. Sometimes the damage and broken trust and respect is so severe that one or both spouses refuses to try to salvage the marriage. I have known some marriages in serious trouble that were turned around but have been just as surprised at some solid marriages that fell apart so quickly they couldn’t be saved.
If you are in a bad marriage and you and your spouse have a desire to make things better before you get to the point of seeking an end to the marriage, perhaps you can consider the following tips.
Tips To Turn Around A Bad Marriage
- Start keeping your promises. So very often in a bad marriage spouses wishes, wants and desires are taken for granted and promises get broken time and time again. Although, it might not seem like a big deal, every time you say that you are going to do something and you don’t you might be driving another wedge between you two.
- Stop picking and start clicking. It’s very easy when you are in a bad marriage to find fault with stuff that your spouse does or doesn’t do. If you are really good at it you know exactly what things to fuss about to get under your spouses skin. You might even be doing it subconsciously. Try to stop attacking your spouse and start helping each other out. If things aren’t done to your liking, try offering praise instead of criticism.
- Don’t try to be a mind reader. When you have been married for a while you can easily make the mistake of thinking you know what’s on your spouses mind. This can lead to communication issues or misunderstandings. If you want to know what’s bothering your spouse ask instead of trying to guess or figure it out. In a bad marriage, often times it’s what’s not said that leads to the biggest confrontations.
- Keep doing the right things. Unfortunately, what happens in a bad marriage is that spouses begin to stop caring and thus stop doing. In many instances, because of feelings of neglect and frustration, one person stops doing the kind and loving acts previously done. It can soon spiral out of control and before you know it both spouses stop doing things to help move the relationship closer.
- Don’t avoid sex. Yes, sex can and has been used to reward or punish spouses based on what’s going on in the relationship. If you are having problems with communication or finances or just getting along don’t use that as an excuse to stop being intimate. In the long run it will turn a bad marriage into a bad marriage possibly dealing with infidelity.
- Stop blaming each other for the bad marriage. It’s much easier to blame your spouse for the situation that you are in. It’s only natural and understandable. However, if you want to quickly turn around your marriage, you both need to accept responsibility for improving your marriage. There is no benefit to figuring out who is to blame. Work together to transform your marriage and you will reap the benefits.
I know being in a bad marriage can be really depressing and frustrating. It’s hard to see love deteriorating right before your eyes and seemingly not being able to do anything about it. The good thing is that there is still hope for your marriage. With a little work and a lot of determination you can succeed at restoring relationships.
I was once where you are now and can attest that things can turn around and you can change a bad marriage into a good one. Don’t think that you can’t. All you need is a little help in marriage and peace, joy and happiness can be yours again.
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