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successful marriage
disagreements
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Get Ready For A Successful Marriage
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Get Ready for A Successful Marriage

Would you like to get ready for a successful marriage? Many counselors, pastors, and parents would like to give tips to people who are contemplating marriage that would help them feel confident as they go into the marriage.

Would you like to know some ways to get ready for a successful marriage?

Here are four actions you can take to get you started:

1. Discuss some of the hard things.

When a couple starts dating, they naturally "put their best forward" so they can make a good impression. To keep from arguing (and avoiding arguments generally is a good thing) they often avoid some issues that others may consider to be controversial.

They really don't want to deal with disagreements. Of course there are exceptions to this general rule. Some people are so domineering they relish the idea of stating their opinion, and they really don't care what others may think. The good thing about this is that their future potential spouse is at least not going into things blind.

In cases such as these, however, it is important for the quieter person in the relationship to truly state his or her opinions. Then the couple needs to learn how to work through the issues.

Too often, though, both parties in the relationship avoid talking about the hard things.

Discuss how many children you would like to have, your political views, your religious views, your philosophy of handling money and other important issues. Schedule some times for heavy discussion. If you can't work through the disagreements now, you may be in for a lot of heartache after marriage.

2. Find out what your similarities are.

This is a lot more fun than the first suggestion. The more things you can find where you are alike, the better your potential success after marriage.

It has often been said that opposites attract, and actually that is also often true.

You need to be aware of why that is so. Many times the reason is because we often see things in ourselves that we would like be improved. When we come across someone who has that quality we would like to see in our own lives, we at least look upon them with admiration.

Also, opposite personalities can provide some measure of balance in a marriage. That is the good side.

What often happens is that we forget that each strength in a personality type has an accompanying weakness. We so admire the strength we overlook the weakness. Then when involved in a day-to-day marriage situation, we see those less than admirable traits that are part of that personality type. In fact, we may find that some of those things may drive us crazy.

While opposites attract, it will be very important in such a marriage to have a commitment to overcome the friction that comes from differences.

One well-known couples' matching site has had a great deal of success because they match couples in over 30 areas of compatibility.

So, look for areas where you are alike. The more of them you can find, the better off you will be.

3. Ask yourself if you have been overlooking some difficulties,

This is very close to the first suggestion, but you do need to ask yourself that question and if you have been doing so, then schedule times to talk about the hard things.

4. Look for some tips from those who have gone before you.

These tips can be from people you have observed who have long and happy marriages. You also can get good advice from counselors and pastors who have had much experience dealing with people who struggle in their marriages. You also can find good tips from people who have researched many resources dealing with marriage. Good books, radio and TV programs, and seminars can be especially helpful in this area.

If you put these ideas and other into practice, you probably really will be in a position to get ready for a successful marriage!


Street Talk

You had some wonderful ideas. I am in a marriage where my husband and I have many differences, and among those differences is family background. I have had conflicts due to in-laws, so that is another thing to consider before getting married, if at all possible.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thank you, Sarah. I always say, "Celebrate your differences, but overcome them too." You are right about considering your future in-laws. In fact, the principle of "leaving" is very important when it comes to marriage. Done properly, leaving (mentally by both parties in the marriage) can actually improve relationships with in-laws.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
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