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Marriage is the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. It is the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. The same can also be described in a same sex relationship. For a marriage to last, it has to be founded on chemistry, respect, enjoyment, acceptance, trust and empathy.
Trials in Marriage:
During the first six months in a marriage, (honeymoon phase), some serious problems may occur. Reality sets in however, due to different opinions, financial well being, undetected secret habits, and boredom. By the 12th - 36th month in the marriage, the couple may have been faced with challenges like finances, child bearing or sexual problems and these may complicate the the adjustment process. To be successful, a realistic point of view has to be undertaken by both parties. This takes effort and courage for both parties. Among others, these are ways to a successful marriage adjustment;
- Consider your husband as your best friend
- Like your husband as a person
- See marriage as a long- term commitment
- See marriage as a sacred institution
- Agree on goals
- Laugh together frequently
Adjusting:
Adjusting to a marriage does not come easy and it takes a whole before it can be called a solid marriage. Positive action is required on both ends rather than negativity, and these include:
- Showing interest - can take as little as looking a person in the eye when they are speaking
- Be affectionate - letting a person know how happy you are when you are with them
- Caring - kindness and thoughtfulness can do wonders in a relationship
- Be appreciative - show them how thankful you are for their contribution
- Be empathetic - share you partner's emotions a facial expression or by words can go a long way to promote empathy
- Accept who they are - agree to disagree with respect
- Joke and laugh all the time.
- Share your feelings - whether feelings of joy or sadness
- Overall, there has to be love and respect.
- However, couples have to beware of the signs that can slow the adjustment process. These include:
- Criticism - attacking your partner's personality or character, usually blaming them
- Contempt - intentionally insulting and psychologically abusing your partner
- Defensiveness - denying responsibility, making excuses, constantly counter complaining.
It is important for couples to learn to compromise. Another important point in adjusting to marriage is to decide how often family and friends will be invited over and how much time will be spent socializing. It is often difficult for couples to accept that once they get married, their families and friends have to take second place and this is what may establish how ready a couple is for marriage.
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