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Would finding a way to improve your marriage make life much better for you? Well, I hope you know that making some simple changes in your life can lead to a better marriage. Improving your marriage doesn’t have to continue to be a dream you have from time to time.
Most couples spend more time figuring out where to go on vacation or putting together the plans for remodeling a room then they do on building a better marriage. It’s really strange when you think about it. I would say that if spouses were to be honest they would admit to the following;
- The relationship has changed over the years.
- Their marriage needs work.
- They haven’t done much to fix their marriage.
- They would like to be happily married again.
- They don’t know where to start to improve the marriage.
Perhaps you can identify with some of the above statements. I know one of the reasons why marriage problems don’t get resolved has to do with conflict avoidance. Many times couples end up fighting over an issue instead of resolving it. Once a number of negative experiences occur, couples tend to choose conflict avoidance instead of conflict resolution.
Tips On How To Improve Your Marriage
First, I would suggest that you and your spouse confess your feelings about the marriage relationship you have. It does the heart and soul good sometimes to reveal feelings and thoughts about an important relationship. Your spouse should be encouraged to do the same. Two things you should keep in mind. One, this is not an opportunity to point fingers or place blame on your spouse. Two, this revelation should be a conversation and not an argument.
Second, I would encourage you to see if you and your spouse can agree to talk about the issues that seem to be driving a wedge between you without arguing about it. It helps to explain that you are tired of fighting and would like to try respecting each other and practicing being kind. Raising your voice and saying mean or disrespectful things never helps to resolve a matter.
Third, it has been helpful to many couples if they agree to not bring up past failures as a means for winning an argument or making a point. Each and every time you bring up a issue of the past that has no relevance to the current situation, you add additional baggage to the current situation. Just like you wouldn’t bring unneeded luggage on a trip to Disney World, don’t bring up old stuff that you hashed out already.
Learning how to improve your marriage is pretty simple once you learn how to communicate and interact with each other.
A good goal to shoot for is making sure that your spouse is better off after spending time with you. For example, if your spouse calls you in the middle of the day for some reason and you chat, how did the conversation end? Did your spouse feel loved and supported or agitated, annoyed, angry and depressed? Make it a point to leave your spouse better than he or she was before they talked to or visited with you.
The key to improving your marriage is well within your control. You can’t control or change your spouse and should stop trying. However, you have total control over what you do, how you act or re-act and improving yourself to build a better marriage.
I hope these simple tips will get you going in the right direction towards learning how to improve your marriage and restore your relationship.
Finally, please keep in mind that there are many more steps that you can take for help in marriage to improve your relationship.
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