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How To Save A Marriage - Get Involved In Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
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How to save a marriage is a topic that come to the minds of many people when it is almost too late. A wise couple will look at those principles early in their relationship. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could ward off those problems before they start? When is the best time to learn how to save a marriage? Really, the best thing to do is to get involved in saving your marriage before it starts.

When a couple is dating, they often put off discussing the "thorny issues" because they don't want to "rock the boat." They, of course, want to "put their best foot forward." While this is commendable in some respects, it also creates some problems.

So, how can you go about saving your marriage before it starts? Here are five things you can do, or at least be willing to do, before you walk down the marriage aisle.

1. Discuss Some Difficult Issues.

Take a time to discuss some difficult or controversial issues. It might be good to say, "O.K., we haven't talked about some things that sometimes cause problems in marriages. Let's do it now, but let's try to do it without causing a fight."

Maybe you will find areas that you are both open to discussing in which you might be willing to change your minds. Maybe you will find other areas in which you agree to disagree, but they really are issues that you can live with. Maybe, though, you will find something that is so important to both of you that neither of you will budge on the issue--and it is so important that you will decide to go your own separate ways. At least you found out before marriage.

2. Engage in Pre-marital Counseling If You Would Like.

Many couples in this day and age benefit from going to pre-marital counseling. One of the advantages to this is that you are often forced to deal with some of the difficult issues you may have previously been avoiding in your relationship.

3. Look for Areas Where You Are Alike.

Opposite attract. That is true with magnets, but it also happens quite often with relationships. Why is that? Often we see personality traits that others have, which are the traits that we wished we had. We admire the strengths of those traits, and we are sometimes attracted to them for that very reason.

The problem is that every personality type also has an accompanying weakness along with its strength. Before marriage, we are so focused on the strength that we overlook the weakness. After marriage, the weakness becomes apparent, and sometimes it begins to overshadow the strength we used to focus on.

While opposite may attract, similarities have great advantages. One popular dating site has had great success because it focused on areas of compatibility. In other words, those couples looked for similarities.

If you want to know how to save a marriage before it starts, find as many areas as you can where you are alike. If you don't find many, think long and hard about pursuing the relationship.

4. Understand the Importance of Commitment.

Understand the importance of commitment. Since it seems to be inevitable that you will discover new differences after you marry, make sure that both of you have the commitment to overcome in place before you take the step of marriage. This strong commitment, held by both of you, will see you through any problem you might face.

5. Be Willing to Exercise "Good Compromise" When You Can.

Compromise often has a negative connotation, and there is a good reason for that. A bad compromise happens when you forsake an important principle in your life.

However, there are many good compromises you can make in a marriage. These do not cause you to forsake any important moral principles. As you get really good at this, you both will find new activities and ideas that neither of you had thought of in the past. Saving your marriage before it starts involves seeing if you are beginning to master the art of good compromise.

Good compromise requires give and take on the part of both members of the relationship. When one member always gives in to the other, compromise is happening, but that is not necessarily good compromise.

While you are dating is a good time to consider the topic of "how to save a marriage." First of all determine if your relationship really is strong enough for marriage. If it is not, at least you will find it out now instead of after the wedding. After all, you don't just want to be in the marriage game, you want to go for the championship. Saving your marriage before it starts really is possible!


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