If you were asked to describe your sex life within your marriage, what expressions will you use? Will you call it a chore related to married life or an exciting gift of marriage. Most people will opt for the latter definition of sex, if they are in the early phase f their marriage. But if someone continues to have the same impression about sex, then it means that he or she has a successful marriage. But, unfortunately, for a vast majority of people the excitement of sex starts waning fast and in a short time after marriage, thy start looking at sex as a routine one has to bear with. It becomes as dull and as repulsive as doing some exercise. One feels like getting over with it and feeling relaxed that it was over for the day!

If someone begins to treat sex as a chore they have to perform whether they like it or not, it clearly means that their life has been deviating from a phase of sanity and sensibility. Here are some questions you need to ask to understand how you perceive sex. You may be surprised to find that you have certain perceptions you are consciously unaware of.

1) How important is sex to you? I am not going to ask you to rank sex on a scale of 1 to 10! I would rather ask you to honestly introspect and find out for yourself the importance you attach to sex. What are your feelings when you are about to do the act. Are you bored and irritated or are you looking forward to the joy you are going to derive from the act?

2) Are your sexual performances spontaneous or contrived? Do you have a time table for sex so that you want to ensure that you will not fail in your duty? Do you think that you are doing it as an obligation to your partner? You do not want to disappoint them or make them feel bad or resentful bout you. If this is your line of thinking, then sex is a burden to you, not a pleasure!

3) Can you discuss the subject with your partner freely? Do you discuss your sex experiences with your partner. It may be about what you enjoyed or what you did not. Do you sometimes invite your partner or only respond? If you only respond, it shows that you do not feel excited by sex but only consider it a duty towards your wife.

If you discover that you do not consider sex to be an excitement but only a chore imposed on you by the marriage, then you should act immediately to enhance the quality of marriage.