Your spouse has cheated on you, destroyed any self respect and confidence that you ever had in yourself. There are three things that you can do that will restore your self-respect and confidence.

They have hurt you more than you have ever been hurt before. Life is not over, and you can get your life and marriage back in order, if that is what you want to do. At first many individuals get outraged and their first thought is divorce.

In reality, most couples that are faced with the fact that at least one of them has had an extramarital affair, they do not get a divorce. Once everything calms down after the initial shock of the discovery that an affair has occurred, you begin to realize that things are in turmoil, but recovery is possible.

You need to understand that the time immediately after an affair is a very tumultuous time. Extremely damaging things are said while emotions are in turmoil. If you leave the situation alone without any help, you and your spouse may end up pushing yourselves beyond the breaking point, which will make the healing process almost impossible.

To help you get started in the right direction, here are three tips that will help you to start getting your self respect and confidence back:

1. Although you are not the one that had an affair, you are responsible for what happens in your life. If you really have the desire to save your marriage, then you have to work with your spouse in order to start healing the melt down in your relationship. You must realize however, that you did not make your spouse cheat. You must have a positive attitude and feelings about what you tell yourself about the situation and yourself. 2. It is completely normal to be feeling down and depressed after the discovery of your spouse’s affair, realize that at this time, this is your reality. This does not have to be a permanent reality. Face the fact that you feel awful, and know that it will not assist you in gaining back your feeling of self-respect. Once you face the reality for what it is, and your feelings, you can turn yourself to start focusing on a more positive reality and get rid of the negative vibes. 3. You may have had problems in your marriage for quite a while. How long has it been since you and your spouse have been anywhere and really had a good time, and fully enjoyed one another. Not enjoying one another and life in general together can lead to some very nasty and hard feelings. One of the things that is very important to start getting your feeling of self respect back, is to start going out and doing the things that you really enjoy doing.

Just because you are going out and enjoying yourself, does not mean that you stop working attempting to save your marriage. It is only that you have been in such of whirlwind of confusion, hurt , and damaged emotions, that you have to do something to pull yourself up and out of the hole that you are in. By starting to take care of yourself, you will be able to start gaining your self respect and confidence back.

It may take some time for you to regain your self respect, we are all individuals and all tolerate things in different ways. You just need to know, that you are the one that has been so hurt and devastated, and you are the one that realized that you have lost something that is priceless to you, which is your self respect, and your confidence. You are the only one that is capable and that has the power of restoring both of these important things for yourself.

Get your self and your marriage back together, be stronger and happier than you could have imagined. By saving your marriage, you will gain the greatest self respect and confidence in yourself.