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If you feel that your marriage is an unhappy one but you have analyzed and concluded that you still love your spouse. As such, you do not wish for your relationship to end in a divorce and so you are looking for ways to save marriage. However, before you proceed any further, the first thing you have to do is to ask yourself, are you communicating with your spouse?
It has been found that a lack of communication is actually the key factor causing a marriage to end in a divorce. This should not come as a surprise. Remember the time when you were still a baby and you were unable to convey your needs to your caretakers, what do you do? You would cry and kick up a terrible fuss until your needs were taken care of but now that you are adults and married, you cannot use the same tactics anymore. Thus, if you do not communicate with your spouse, he or she will not know of your needs.
Communication may seem like a simple task but in order to communicate well, it takes practices in order to perfect it because your actions, facial expressions as well as body language serves as a form of communication too. Be honest with yourself, when was the last time you smiled at your spouse and when was the last time you said "I love you"? There are couples who behave like strangers even though they still live in the same house.
If you feel that the above scenario describes your relationship, then it is really time you have a hart-to-heart talk with your spouse. Be open with your feelings and attempt to find solutions to your problems. Allow a chance for both of you to speak your mind and make sure the other party is really listening when one person is talking. This is not the time to be defensive because you are looking for answers and solutions so it is important to listen.
One word of advice when you are trying to start communicating is to first find a convenient time suitable for both of you. Pick a time when both of you are feeling relaxed and not rushing to somewhere or have a project work that you need to get done urgently. Being tactful when you are suggesting a talk is vital too because you do not want to sound too demanding and remember to give your spouse more time to prepare what they want to say before the talk.
During the talk, ensure that both of you take turns at talking and the person who is not talking should be listening attentively. No one should talk down to the other as that would make the other party feel inadequate. Ensure that both of you have undivided attention to each other so the television should not be turned on, neither should your kids be around. Allow sufficient time for both parties to speak their mind.
Be prepared that you might not be able to resolve your problems at your first attempt but having an open communication is a good start to saving your marriage. You can always schedule another session or bring in a counselor. Remember, if you want to save marriage, you have to take actions!
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