The Post - Abridalyptic Meltdown
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The Post  -  abridalyptic Meltdown

My biggest surprise came about 2 and a half months after our wedding. It’s what I like to call the ‘post-abridalyptic meltdown’ – a big word to describe a big meltdown. It’s a meltdown of apocalyptic proportions, which I think most ex-brides have in secret (or I’d like to think that at least). It’s such a shock because it’s so unexpected. I mean, EVERYONE expects a meltdown before wedding, but I had no idea there would follow one after the wedding as well.

So what is this meltdown? It happens just about when you start to snap out of your honeymoon-bubble of blissful love. Reality starts to set in and you realize your new hubby is back in his old routine, doing the same annoying crap he promise to stop doing after the wedding. (I know, I know, don’t ever believe the story that things will change after the wedding and all that jazz. I don’t care who you are or how logical your thinking is, there are always SOME promises, or rather expectations, of what may happen after the ‘I do’s’.) For my hubby it was that he would try to stay awake a little longer before falling asleep on the couch after dinner. Oh PUH-LEAZE!!!

Anyway, there I was, standing in the kitchen watching my dear husband, sound asleep on the couch when it hit me: this is FOR-FREAKING-EVER!!!! A steady panic starts to rise as I realize I will never have another first kiss, I can’t just walk out when I’m done – it’s me and this sleeping man (in that moment another word came to mind), ’till.DEATH.do.us.part…. But this isn’t the meltdown.

This is only the start of it. You start to realize when you go out with friends that they don’t really talk about you anymore. In fact, they start comparing your wedding to other weddings, in front of you! That’s if they even bring it up at all.. Before the wedding all anyone could talk about and ask about was you.. How your plans were coming along, how you were coping with the stress, what you plan on doing on the big day.. Now no-one gives a rat’s sweet ass how you are coping with your stress! They only want to talk about their own lives and their own problems at work and you can’t help thinking: But what about me??? The last year of your life you’ve been the center of attention with everyone at your back and call. Then it hits you: I’m not special anymore… I’m just plain old me again.. You feel the panic start to rise again with a tad more fervor.

You get home feeling extremely sorry for yourself but you don’t say anything because that’s just too selfish or silly so you sulk in silence while your dear new husband is completely unaware of the extreme emotional dilemma you find yourself in. Now you are a ticking time bomb for the post-abridalyptic meltdown.

Anything can set it off. For me it was a little bit of everything. Coming home after a long day, finding hubby-dearest’s sweatpants in the living room along with his undies (I mean really! Does the man not KNOW he has a room to get dressed in??) I just lost it. I burst out in tears sitting with the dirty underwear, not knowing what to make for dinner with the feeling of: seriously? SERIOUSLY????? Is this married life?? Cleaning and cooking and feeling unspecial and just soooo mundane?? I sat there crying like a two year old throwing a temper tantrum.I wanted to stomp my feet and sob: But I’m special tooooohooohoooo!!!!!!

Then, just as I was at the peek of my own private little pity party, my hubby came home. With him a chocolate. Why? Just because. He ran me a bath and told me he’s making dinner and I realized: I’m such a bitch! I have this fantastic man in my life forever, and I’m upset because the world is going on as usual? How ungrateful can you get?

So, after this little episode I cook with a smile, trying to outdo myself each time and I LOVE IT! I LOVE not having another first kiss, and even though it still annoys the crap out of me when my husband falls asleep while I’m talking, I let him be. He loves me when he’s awake and he loves me in his dreams, and that’s more than enough to keep me happy for all eternity! Check out what else I get up to on my blog notsoblushingwife wordpress com and let me know what you think!


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