How is it that, after taking years of searching and dating and planning the ideal wedding that marriages end so quickly? Do you know of any couples that have split up that make you wonder how long your marriage will last? Unfortunately, many marriages are one bad decision away from breaking up and ending up in divorce court. The reason being is that many marriages are on thin ice as it is.

So if you were to take an honest look at your marriage situation would you say that you were happily married or happy to still be married? You see, there is a difference between being happily married and happy to be married.

There are some marriages that are pretty much over on the inside but on the outside, appear to be going along just fine. You see, only the husband and wife know what is really going to happen with their marriage barring any changes. In some cases it is just one of the two spouses who know where their marriage is heading. The reason being, that all of his or her doubts and negative thoughts and frustrations are bottled up and are not shared with the love of their life. The problem is that at some point during the marriage these ill feelings turn into resentment and anger. Before you know it you have one very unsatisfied and discontented spouse who wants to get out of the marriage.

If you have been struggling with issues in your marriage but haven’t taken any steps to resolve them you are flirting with danger. You will be surprised one day when the very person you once loved with all of your heart is now someone who you can’t stand being around. Please don’t let your marriage get to this point.

There are other marriages where the couples acknowledge that they are dealing with some marriage problems but just can’t seem to do anything about them. Every once in a while they make the time to talk about their marriage issues and even agree to make some changes. They feel good about their marriage for the next couple of weeks but those feelings quickly fade as the changes never take shape and frustrations grow and dreams of marriage happiness turn into nightmares about divorce.

Perhaps your marriage happiness is hinging on some changes being made by you and your spouse. Have you ever thought that you are asking for changes that your spouse or you will never make? It’s a scary thought but one that is important to take yourself through. The important thing is that you need to change your thinking slightly and here is how.

Why not focus on how your marriage can make it despite your differences instead of how your marriage will end if changes aren’t made? Instead of making plans to end your marriage your energy should be spent on saving your marriage. You are probably thinking, my marriage isn’t that bad or close to divorce. Remember, most marriages are one mistake away from being over.

One of the things that hold most marriages back from hitting that plateau that most couples desire is honesty and pride. It is hard to be honest with the person you love. It is hard to say to the one person you have professed your unconditional love to that you no longer feel in love. It is easy to become distant and cold but hard to say that I feel disconnected from you.

The problem is that when honesty is absent it opens the door for mistrust, miscommunication and misplaced emotions. Please remember that honesty is not just about what you say but also what you don’t say.

The pride that we each have gets in the way sometimes of bringing happiness back into our marriage. It is hard to admit that we have fallen short of being a great marriage partner. Have you ever felt defensive when your spouse questions how you are performing in your spousal role? It’s natural to defend yourself, even when you know you could do much better.

I raise these two issues, honesty and pride because they are keys to keeping your marriage happiness or perhaps keeping you from the “D” word.

You and I know that marriage can be complicated at times and downright frustrating. The good news is that millions of couples are in the same boat that you are in but have found the keys to keeping their marriage on the right track. The better news is that you can join them. If you have a broken marriage you can use experience that others have relied upon for restoring relationships.

Please be honest and don’t let pride stop you from finding help in marriage.