People take very serious vows when they get married. However, sometimes the marriage becomes too difficult to bear. And the problems just seem to get worse. In times like these couples should take a serious look at their relationship and ask themselves if they should keep going or if they should separate.
Here is a short quiz to check if you should stay in the marriage or if you should leave. Let’s call it the “is my marriage worth saving quiz”.
Answer these questions honestly.
Is this relationship abusive in any way?
Do I feel like my life is in danger by staying with this person?
Are my rights and freedoms violated in any way by my partner?
Am I losing my sense of dignity and self worth by being in this relationship?
Does my spouse went to make the marriage work?
Can I recall the good times we once had?
Do I see these things bringing possible once again?
If you answered yes to any of the first 4 questions, then the verdict for this “is my marriage worth saving quiz” is a resounding no. Unless some serious changes are made immediately. Any kind of abuse is a violation of a person’s humanity. And you will be better off alone or with someone else than with a person who abuses you.
Abusers are also often chronic violators too. They cannot control their actions at will. And they will need therapy and medical help to beat this problem. In the meantime, save yourself and him from potential hurt. Stay away. Relationships like these are not worth it. And if you stay too long, it may become too hard to get out.
You may have noticed that cheating is not mentioned in the “is my marriage worth saving quiz”. There is a valid reason for this. And this is there are chronic cheaters and there are those who’ve made a one time mistake. And these two kinds of cheaters should be treated differently.
Before the group who is dead set on breaking up the marriage once a spouse cheats go crazy, understand that sometimes in a marriage there are children. And when children come into the picture, their welfare has to be considered as well. And divorce can damage a child.
So if you can find it in you to forgive your spouse and you really feel that it was a mistake that he or she deeply regrets, consider other options before ending the marriage. Exhaust all your options before you finally end it.
For chronic cheaters, though, put them under emotional abusers. Leave them. And then move on with someone who can treat you better.
The "is my marriage worth saving quiz" is just a quick test to assess the likelihood of making a marriage work. If you have made the the decision to make the marriage work, then you will want to arm yourself with resources. One thing that I found helpful when I was going though a rough spot in my relationship was a book called The Magic Of Making Up. Of all the things I tried this one helped me the most.
I would suggest it even if you were on the fence when answering the question is my marriage worth saving? It has great advice on all the topics we discussed here.
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