How hurtful and crushing it is to hear your husband tell you he is in love with someone else. You still love him but him not wanting to be with you is not the happily ever after he promised on your wedding day. Now that he has uttered those heart breaking words, what should you do?
I don’t know if you have been blindsided or suspected for some time that your husband might have his eye on someone else. I’m guessing that your marriage hasn’t been perfect over the last few months or years. However, no marriage is perfect and your husband might soon find out that the person he thinks that he is in love with isn’t perfect either.
Recommended Steps To Deal With A Husband Who Has Fallen For Someone Else
Step 1 – Find out how serious the relationship is.
Now that your husband has confessed to being attracted to someone else you need to understand what kind of relationship he is in. Is he actually seeing someone else or is he fantasizing or falling in-love with someone from afar? Is it an online relationship or is it an emotional affair? Has he slept with the person he claims to love?
There are so many questions that need to be answered and you need to get your husband to fill in the blanks. Schedule some time to get the answers to your burning questions. It might be helpful to write down all of your questions so that you don’t get rattled when you have this painful conversation.
The key and goal with finding out this information is getting a good sense of the battle you face to get him to love you again. Are you competing against a fictitious lover or someone at his office or gym? Once you figure it out you can strategize and win back your husband’s affection.
Step 2 – Analyze your relationship and figure out where the major holes are.
You no doubt know that your marriage has some problems that need to be addressed. Perhaps you haven’t communicated well over the last few months, you fight to much and never seem to enjoy your intimate moments anymore, assuming you still have intimate moments.
Now, your problems might be what pushed your husband to seek affection elsewhere or it could be that he just made a decision that your marriage has run its course and felt justified seeing someone else. Regardless of what lead him to stray, what will bring him back is seeing that he can have what he was missing with the woman he once cherished and adored.
Once you figure out where the shortcomings are you can begin to plug the holes and start to get your husband to want to love you again. Your husband doesn’t have to feel the love again before he chooses to love you again. Let him begin to feel the love that he thinks he can’t get at home anymore and watch him slowly come back around.
Step 3 – Don’t let him have his cake and eat it to.
Your husband might be confused and unsure which relationship he values more. With that being the case he might think that he can take his time and decide whether he wants to stay with you or leave and begin life with his newly found love. I suggest that you make sure he knows that he can’t keep his affair ongoing and keep his marriage together. Although, you are a patient and considerate person, you are not a fool.
I would recommend that you give your husband a little time to sort things out but don’t sleep with him during this period. I’m sorry to say it but he should only be feeding his appetite at home.
The steps that I’ve mentioned above are being recommended to get the process rolling in getting your husband to love you again. If you can get a clear picture of where his other relationship is, and understand what is missing in your marriage, you can begin healing and restoring your relationship.
I know it’s a painful period in your marriage when your husband falls out of love with you. Please don’t give up on him yet. You have the keys to getting your husband back and restoring love in your marriage. You can also use the expertise of others who have figured out how to restore love.
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