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Introduction
When you were still courting the girl who eventually became your wife, you knew that it was important to have regular dates with her.
Why?
Well, it served more than one purpose, really:
1. It provided "alone time"
2. It gave you the opportunity to get to know each other better
3. It showed her that you were interested in her
4. It helped build the relationship into one of trust.
After getting married, however, many couples tend to think that they don't need those date nights any longer.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
You STILL Need To Date Your Wife
It is very easy for a marital relationship to fall into a groove where things tend to go on from day to day. You get up in the morning, go to work, come back home, go to sleep . . . and repeat the ritual the following day.
The same thing can happen to your marriage.
Because you are both always there, you tend to get into the habit of having your wife around. The spark that was there when you were only starting to date is often replaced – within three to five years – with this "habit" of simply knowing that your wife is around.
This can easily – and very often does – lead to guys starting to think that they don't love their wife any longer. The flame that was there when you were still courting her, has been replaced with an emptiness. And this is one of the main reasons for divorce figures being as high as they are.
Love Is NOT A Feeling
Many people think that love is that wonderful feeling – those butterflies you had in your stomach – when you first saw the girl of your dreams, and when you courted her with the intention of making her yours for life.
However, love is NOT a feeling – love is a decision. A decision to live with her for the remainder of your life... "until death does us part."
Were Those Feelings Bad?
So, were those feelings that you initially had for the girl of your dreams bad feelings?
No, of course not. They just weren't very reliable. They were temporary – created by your body in order to spur you on to the "correct" type of behaviour so that you could "conquer" her heart.
But, once you had conquered her heart, the need was over and those feelings were no longer needed in order to spur you on to "extra special" behaviour.
Marriage Is For Life
However, seeing that you committed to your marriage for life (you did, didn't you?) you should work to make it as enjoyable as possible.
And don't think for a minute that you are the only one who will benefit from that. Oh no, your wife will benefit too. And even more importantly, so will your children. It has been proven over and over that children who grow up in happy homes (= happy marriage environments) are happier, more successful individuals, who also tend to have happy, successful marriages.
Invest In Your Marriage
Therefore you should invest in your marriage. Not necessarily money, although that is also important, but time and effort.
1) Invest Time
It is very important to spend time with your wife. Alone time – time when you are away from the children, and preferably also away from the home and the interruptions of telephones etc.
Even though you might have been married for several years, you still need to learn more about each other. We all grow continuously, and neither you nor your wife is the same person that you were a year ago – let alone many years ago when you got married.
You should use this time to talk about the things that are important to your wife, like her dreams. Or her fears.
Use your alone time to let her tell you about what is happening in her life, and where she wants to go.
"But my wife is just a housewife," you protest. Well, then there is an even greater need for her to have dreams and targets. Surely you don't expect her to sit at home like a zombie and just "be", do you?
Every single individual on this planet has dreams – from the president of the country to the most humble "nobody" in the street.
By talking to your wife about what is important to her you help her raise her importance in the world. And you show her that she is still just as important to you as when you started courting her years ago.
2) Invest Effort
When you make a date with your wife, put some effort into it. Don't just say, "Let's go out for a cup of coffee, shall we?"
No, think romance. Think back to when you tried to impress the girl of your dreams with your charm. And bring back that charm into your marriage.
Send her a bouquet of flowers with a card attached, and put an invitation in the card. Make it romantic by carefully choosing your words. Approach it as if this is the most important invitation that you've ever written, one that will have a massive impact on your happiness and your success for the rest of your life. You want to be so impressive in your invitation that this girl of your dreams just can't say no to your invitation.
In fact, even though you have been married for several years – or rather because you have been married for several years – you need to make extra effort to get her to accept your invitation. Put some serious thought into the invitation.
But also put effort into the date itself. Do NOT talk about your work, your life, your worries, your golf handicap, your . . . whatever! No, talk about her! Her work. Her life. Whatever concerns her.
3) Invest Romance
Every now and then make this date into a sleep-out date. Book a room in a nice hotel. Or at a relaxed resort. Or take her to a spa, where she can be pampered.
Use this date away from home to romance the lady of your dreams. And use it to improve the sex that you share. Make it unforgettable. It will benefit both of you, and have a beneficial impact on your children!
Summary
You might have been married for several (or even many) years. But that doesn't mean you don't need romance any longer. It also doesn't mean that you have to stop courting your wife.
On the contrary! The longer you have been married, the more time and effort you have to put back into courting and romancing your wife.
Do this, and your marriage will be endless bliss. You, your wife, your marriage and your children are all worth it!
There Are MANY More Things To Learn About How To Be A Good Husband
If you are serious about your marriage, I would like to invite you to join me in further discovering the detailed things that your wife wants from you to be a good husband by reading my eBook in which are to be found many more tips on how to be the type of husband your wife wants.
Go to http://www.GoodHusbandSecrets.com to get your own copy of this amazing eBook and start applying its tips today.
Thanks for reading, and may I wish you a long, happy marriage - Schalk Lubbe
HOW I GET MY MAN BACK TODAY i just want to start this way by giving a huge thanks to this man DR ABULU for what he has just done today in my life . at first i thought it won,t work because many has failed me before but on a second thought i said let me just try and to my best surprises Micheal my husband that said and insist he has nothing to do with me and my family called me immediately this great man DR ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo. com ) cast a love spell on him and started begging for forgiveness well i love him so much and at once i accepted him back and today we are both living in pace and harmony, all the same the glory is to this man DR ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo com DOC I THANK YOU once again for you are worthy of all the thanks in my mouth today and forever am grateful and shall ever be to you . i also want to say if you are out there passing through a similar stuff or issues you can contact him today and i bi live him will also help you out
Thanks Schalk...I am going to get my husband to read this article!
Schalk this article is absolutely correct. I really liked your mention that love is a decision - couldn't agree more. My husband and I would both attest to that. We decided to have a successful marriage from before day 1 and have worked to achieve that consistently for over 20 years. The other thing that you mentioned that is vitally important is that a happy marriage is essential to happy kids. Anyone who says that their relationship problems are not affecting their kids or that their kids are 'coping well' is kidding themselves. I trained as a teacher and have spent enough time involved in the school community to feel strongly about this. Nicely written.
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