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You're feeling disheartened and panicked. Your wife has recently told you that she's not happy in the marriage and divorce entered the conversation. You can't fathom a life without the woman you love and you don't really know how to convince her to stay within the marriage and fight to make it work. She's obviously unhappy and that means you're unhappy too. There isn't a man alive who loves his wife who wants to see her suffer in a marriage she doesn't want to be in. Does that mean you have to sacrifice your dream of a future with her so you can let her go? No. If you love her, and if you believe that the issues that are causing her to feel disconnected from you can be remedied, you can rebuild your marriage into a more rewarding, satisfying and emotionally balanced relationship.
State Clearly Why You Don't Want a Divorce
This is not a time to play coy. Your marriage is on the line so you must make it very clear to your wife that you're not ready to throw in the towel. You love her and your marriage is the most important thing in your life so express that to her. Tell her what you're feeling. You may be surprised to learn that your wife could be oblivious to the depth of your love for her. If you two don't regularly talk about the state of your union, she may not even know that you're willing to fight for her.
Calmly explain to her that you don't want to give up on the marriage just yet. Remind her of the difficult times you two have faced in the past and how you've worked hand-in-hand to get through them. Talk about the future that you envision between you two. Make it clear to her that you can't imagine a life without her.
Work to Improve as a Husband
Marriage definitely is a partnership and therefore it generally takes both partners to make the marriage work. It can feel overwhelming when you realize that your wife is ready to walk out of the marriage. It feels very much like you're facing an uphill battle all alone. In many ways you are, but that shouldn't discourage you when you consider the reward at the end is a renewed commitment and an even stronger marriage.
Think honestly about how you've been as a husband in recent months. If you two have had a strained marriage for some time, consider whether or not you've been the best partner the past few years. Identify where you could improve. It may be something as simple as being more affectionate with your wife or perhaps you just don't spend as much time at home as you could. Think about where you may have failed and what you can do now to make major improvements.
Explain to your wife how you will be changing. Give her your honest thoughts and don't be afraid of her being critical. She may add to the list of things she believes you can improve on, and you should take those suggestions to heart. That's not to suggest that she's been the ideal wife. Once you show her, through your actions and words, that you are making positive changes you can visit the issue of how she can become a better wife. By working together, you'll make your marriage that much better.
Ask for Six Months to Work on the Marriage
The idea of asking for an extension to work on your marriage may seem ridiculous but if your wife has one foot out the door, it may be your saving grace. If she's expressed her desire to divorce as soon as possible, ask her to give you a few months to prove to her that you love her as much as you say you do.
Use that time to work as hard as you possibly can on rebuilding the bond between you two. Talk to her more, listen attentively and show her, at every possible opportunity, that you love her much more now than you did when you two first married.
By reinvesting yourself in the marriage, you'll be showing your wife that a happy future together is definitely possible. Your wife may feel she wants a divorce simply because she's not happy in the moment. By shifting the marriage, by addressing the issues and by recommitting yourself to making her happy, you'll be sweeping your wife off her feet again. Show your wife why you married her and in the process you'll be highlighting all the reasons why she chose to marry you.
Many couple come back from the brink of a divorce, happier and stronger than they've ever been before. You can not only save your marriage, you can make your wife love you as deeply as you love her.
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