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eaves dropper
arnold schwarzenegger
words of wisdom
undigested food
true example
old person
granddad
younger men
Flatulence A Sign Of Ageing – Or Is It Just A Plain Old Fart
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Flatulence A Sign Of Ageing – Or is it Just A Plain Old Fart

F.A.R.T. Fresh Air Ram Technology, is the design used to increase air pressure within the intake of an engine, allowing greater air flow, which in turn increases power. That sounds to me what an ageing man needs.

As men age, their air discharges increase in volume, frequency and sound. I was an eaves dropper to a conversation between two youngsters discussing their Grandfathers flatulence problems. This was not a deep medical discussion, anything but, but a conversation discussing, or comparing with pride, their Grand fathers abilities. “Pull my finger, sonny boy!” the one repeated in an imitated deep voice, then proceeded to simulate the sound by blasting air into the crock of his arm.

The peels of laughter, proof the youngsters found these performances hilarious. The comparisons bantered about, with imitation noises reputed to sound like that of their ageing Grand dads, continued till one broke the spell asking the other “Is that why Dad calls him and old Fart?”

The question remained unanswered, too difficult to comprehend, anyhow, fathers statements univocal. Do older men pass more wind than younger men? The amount produced by a body, dependent on different things, to expound the reasons for gas production would need a book. Reflux, undigested food and air ingestion, blamed for many a slip. The noise, created by the reverberating of muscles, the reason for older men producing louder sounds. Muscle degradation, related to ageing, the obvious reason. (Arnold Schwarzenegger physique a true example).

The following words of wisdom, uttered by a wise young voice, the statement, “Grandmas do it as well, you know!” Embarrassed laughter demonstrated the obvious felt by both, their beloved favored “old person”, would never do that. “I heard her in the kitchen, she blamed the dog when I walked in.” more laughter, I could picture the scene in my head. But quickly changing the subject “I can't fart as loud as my Granddad!” proved that he'd tried, and the answered agreement said with pride, “Mine can blow forever!” obvious the Grandfathers explosions preferred.

Old age or ageing comes with many drawbacks, one being degeneration of hearing. In men, it is not so that they can ignore their wives, as stated many times by their betrothed, but a natural degrading caused by ageing. Now if one can't hear well, the tendency is to talk louder to hear yourself, well it is in my case. The cell phone calls of older men in public places, shared with all within half a city block, can attest to the earlier statement. The hypothesis therefore, if he can't hear it, how does he know he passed it? So extra pressure required to aid a louder sound for assurance.

However, “many a slip 'tween the cup and the lip” has proven the hypothesis be followed with caution, a certain amount of surety of what is to come, being required.

The daunting fact is that although frowned upon by certain countries as being sociably unacceptable in public, in some, it is good manners and shows appreciation for a ready meal.

Are Grandfathers worst than the rest of the family? the general consensus, yes, as voted on by boys with a demure look on their faces, and Grandmothers with disguised smiles on theirs. Are Grandfathers proud of their abilities? Why would they ask their Grandchildren to pull their fingers if they weren't? Why do Grandmothers quietly smile when berating their husbands for excessive noise? Because they know, when no one else around, they can do the same.

This is a true story of a conversation I over heard, and added my own thoughts.


Street Talk

"Is that why Dad calls him and old Fart?" It's not often that reading makes you actually laugh out loud, but i did. I have fond memories of my Grandfather farting when I was a kid. He used to ask me if I stepped on a frog. Ha.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Rodders you have just given me the biggest laugh I've had in a long time. I picture a man sitting asking if you had stood on a frog, and it brings tears to my eyes not from sorrow but from laughter, my family are wondering what the hell is wrong with the old fart laughing like that. This one I will remember for years to come. Thanks for making my day.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

This article explains a lot about Grandpa. :)

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thanks Shawn that it does that it does

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Ditto Heather!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Haven't been in a car for a long time with kids so not prepared to debate the point. lol

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Sounds like you should take the grandson out for the day.... payback!

  
  about 1 decade ago

OK Rob, time to pour the coffee and debate this one. Anyone who thinks grandfathers fart more haven't been locked in the car with my kids! I'd prefer to travel with a grandfather any day!

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thanks Heather, the embarrassing fact, I was eaves dropping on my grandson and his friend.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Please don't admit to being 'normal' - you'll shatter the illusion of greatness! ;-) lol

  
  about 1 decade ago
C. Hughes  

For a minute there I thought you might be going the car route. Nice discussion of the topic. Your hypothesis has merit. Nice to see someone using that word correctly. Most would pose it as a theory. But of course a theory can be proven.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thanks C. Hughes specially the comment on correct use of words, before S.A. I might have used the word, but have learnt a little on the journey.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Dear Rob, Excellent article, my time will come and so will others, if we live long enough.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

You will all make it Alfred, of that I'm sure specially if you keep up the walking.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Rob, Thanks for a great laugh! You told facts as an entertaining story. Well done! blessings, Cynthia

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Glad you enjoyed Cynthia, wondered how it would be received by the women folk.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Like the picture, too!

  
  about 1 decade ago

What a great article. A truism explained with the help of young people and some levity interspersed.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago

Thanks John, "out of the mouths of babes" one wonders how much they understand, and how they interpret their elders.

Reply
  about 1 decade ago
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