Jealousy – The Green - Eyed Monster
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

John is 25 and has just started his own development company... He is ambitious and has just built a large designer home. It is magnificent with all the luxuries you can imagine in a modern home... Pool with built in bar, cinema room, wine cellar... You name it and this house has it.

As John talks about his home, feelings of inadequacy surge through my mind as I think about what I don't have and why I wasn’t able to build my own designer home. As these feelings swell inside me, I start to question why I feel so down and where these feelings are coming from.

Afterwards as I sit and contemplate why I was feeling so down, it hits me like a tonne of bricks; it is the green-eyed monster raising its ugly head. I am feeling down because I have discovered that John who is younger than me is achieving more than I have achieved and this is why I have inadequate feelings inside me. It is Jealousy and it is a curse eating at my insides, devouring my self- worth and challenging my self- esteem.

Why am I feeling so jealous?

Jealousy is a complex set of feeling and emotions that are instinctive within everyone. The feelings of jealousy creates doubt and insecurities that pose questions that challenge your personal worth against particular situations or events. For example, you may experience feelings of paranoia when you notice your partner showing interest in the opposite sex. Your rational perspective on things goes out the door and you start to question your own self-worth and beliefs with statements like “Why does he want to talk to her? What does he offer?” These questions raise doubt and challenge your worthiness of being with your partner.

The issue with jealousy is that it masks deep seeded feelings of possessiveness, insecurities and shame that are carried around from childhood. At some point in your childhood you may have witnessed relationships that were destructive or experienced a parent who criticised you about your looks, your weight or your abilities. These comments and experiences from your childhood are memorised and internalised and manifest themselves when you encounter similar feelings in your life. For example if you were criticised and put down when you were younger for being overweight then you will carry those feelings into romantic relationships you may have in your life. As soon as your partner acknowledges someone else’s looks, or looks at the opposite sex you begin to feel jealousy creeping up inside you as you internally confront these demons.

Three simple ways to rid yourself of jealous feelings

Try not to compare yourself to others. This may be easier said than done however it is important to realise that everyone has a different beginning with different support mechanisms and different reference points in their life to call on. In the example above, it is naive to think that my personal situation and experiences in life is exactly the same as John’s and thus I should compare my circumstances and experiences to John’s circumstances and experiences. John may have received family assistance that has provided him with the platform for him to start his own company. John may have won money or received an inheritance that gave him the financial backing for him to build his home. You just don’t know what someone else’s situation is and to compare yourself and your worth against someone else’s life is totally unrealistic.

To overcompensate the feelings of low self-worth, some people use jealousy as a game to build their own self-esteem and self-worth. Jealousy is not a game and should not be used for personal benefit. This tends to manifest itself in relationships where one partner may flirt constantly with the opposite sex to obtain attention. This is usually done when the partner comments on another person’s appearance, there wit or their personality in front of their partner. This can be demeaning and can drive a huge wedge in the relationship. Using jealousy games in the hope of receiving attention from your partner is a dangerous game that can end very badly.

The last tip that I can over to assist with jealousy is to breathe and calm your mind. Find a cool quiet place where you can close your eyes and relax. Breathe deeply and focus your mind on different parts of your body. Shake the tension out of each part of your body until your muscles start to relax. This process allows you to concentrate on your body and removes the focus away from those feelings of low self-worth. Once you have mastered this process, you can then work through your feelings and emotions that have caused your jealousy. For example you could visualise your partner flirting with others and see yourself not reacting or responding in a jealous way. Instead you visualise yourself being calm and detached from the situation. At first this may seem strange but the more you practice with visualisation techniques the more easily it will come to you to the point where jealousy will no longer cause feelings of low self-worth.


Street Talk

Interesting title - well done. Another tip against jealousy is being kind to others. Jealousy evaporates in your kindness.

Reply
  about 6 years ago
You May Also Like
Experiencing Both Headaches And Jaw Pain? TMD Might Be the Culprit
Headaches are painful enough to experience, yet it becomes a living nightmare when you experience jaw pain as well. It's easy enough to blame migraines for your woes, yet this is not actually the case. You may actually be suffering from temporomandibular joint disorder, or TMD. Surprisingly, most people mistaken…
By: Cynthia Bowers in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Jun 08, 2016  
1
  Likes: 5

Tests for Alzheimer's And Dementia
Tests for Alzheimer's and dementia include mental status tests, brain imaging test, neurological examination, and physical examination and blood test. Because none of these tests can solely confirm that a patient has Alzheimer’s or any other form of dementia, doctors apply a combination of these tests to confirm that a…
By: John Snow in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Apr 29, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Marriage Therapy Concepts: The Advantages Of Acceptance
Few things in life can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn’t. We feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or…
By: Thomas Giles in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Mar 25, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

What is the Difference Between A Licensed Clinical Social Worker (lcsw) And A Licensed Professional Counselor (lpc)?
What is the distinction between LCSWs and LPCs? The short answer to this, from a clinical perspective, is: Not much. Both sets of professionals earn Masters degrees (e.g., Master of Social Work vs Master of Psychology). Both degrees require approximately 2 years of academic work accompanied by a year-long internship…
By: Thomas Giles in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Mar 22, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Chlamydia Testing Guidelines And Treatments for Men
A kind of bacteria can be passed during the sex intercourse then Chlamydia may be infected. Chlamydia is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases in the US. On account of no symptoms and be known difficultly, the result is that it can be spread easily. What is terrible,…
By: sabrina.wu in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Mar 18, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Prolonged Exposure May Be the Treatment Of Choice for Post - Traumatic Stress Disorder
Although many therapists are familiar with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) - and although quite a few are trained in this therapy method - a lesser known option, and one that may be even more effective than Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is…
By: Thomas Giles in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Mar 08, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

A City Made Of Light
I used to live in a big city. Once I used to wake up in the morning to get ready for work while it was still dark. When I got back from work it was dark again as I had to work all day. I couldn't see the sunshine at…
By: georgechantibet in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Feb 27, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Deal With Exam Stress?
Dear Dr. Sadaqat Ali, I am student of FSc. (Pre-Medical) and you being a doctor must have an idea that medical studies are very tough that requires Dr Sadaqat Aligreat toil and constant motivation… the problem that I am facing during exams is pressure and stress, that has continuously affected…
By: willingways in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Feb 21, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Weight Loss Plateau Demotivated Me; What Should I Do?
Dear Dr. Sadaqat Ali, Year 2015 ended on a despairing note. I am 25 year old and is fifty pounds overweight. I have currently completed my graduation and has not been in the job market yet. I am worried about my health, and the bias. I could face seeking a…
By: willingways in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Feb 19, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Integrative Psychiatry is Truly Amazing
Nowadays, the increasing number of people who are suffering from mental illness raises great concerns among specialists in integrative psychiatry. Mental illness results from a disequilibrium, or imbalance in the body, and is affecting more and more people all over the world. Given this concerning increase, the specialists from this…
By: aby in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Feb 18, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Denial In Recovery
If an individual does not believe that substance abuse is a problem for them they will be unlikely to change their behavior. Even if the destruction caused by the addiction is obvious to everyone else, it may not be so obvious to the addict. This is because one of the…
By: willingways in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Feb 12, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Find Satisfaction In Your Life Again With Hypnotherapy Treatments
While many people may be skeptical to believe that falling under a hypnotic trance is fake, they may be surprised to realize that hypnotherapy is an actual recognized treatment for many psychological issues a person may be suffering. Due to the way that it is portrayed in popular media, it…
By: Jim Green2 in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Jan 21, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Chronic Prostatitis Patients Need Psychotherapy Together With TCM Or Antibiotics
There are a lot of chronic prostatitis patients in the world, there are many treatments for them, like antibiotics and TCM, it is strange that some of they can’t be cured easily still. A doctor said just like catching a cold, chronic prostatitis is hard to be cured and it…
By: ada smith in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Jan 21, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Are You A Heavy Snorer? Visit A Sleep Apnea Center In Brandon, FL Soon
When people snore, some see it as a hilarious thing, but the truth is, snoring should not be taken lightly. Frequent snoring could be a case of obstructive sleep apnea, the condition is connected either directly or indirectly to a wide variety of diseases which include hypertension, heart disease, asthma,…
By: Cynthia Bowers in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Sep 02, 2015  
0
  Likes: 2

The Benefit Of Art to Mental Health
To understand how art is utilized in mental health you'll have to think of art as a constitutive subject, an essential element in interpersonal communications. Art doesn't exist for the sake of its own existence, but for the sake of interpersonal communication. In art, both artist and observer are participants.…
By: Jabram Raven Allen in  Health and Fitness  >  Mental Health   Oct 09, 2011  
0
  Likes: 3

Article Views: 1224    Report this Article