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Have you ever heard of the 'pain of rejection?' I'd heard about it all right. Indeed, I thought I'd suffered from it. All of a sudden, your girlfriend or boyfriend drops the bomb right in the middle of what you thought was a happy life, by telling you that they've found a Mr.or Ms. Right to take your place.
"I'm sorry. Herbert, but I really cannot continue with our co-habitation."
Well, poor old Herbert's experienced rejection. I always thought that the 'pain' was purely mental. Or in the pit of your tummy. Most of us have experienced that awful feeling of the 'Dear John/Jane' bit. Your tummy jumps into your chest, and you experience this feeling of abject misery.
So many of us who ask the question; "Why do I suffer from Social Anxiety?" usually ask it to ourselves, and we think that we're the only people on earth to suffer this debilitating condition. Sooner or later, this social anxiety may reach such a high level, that you decide to go to a doctor about it. The truth is that millions of people do so.
It's an equal opportunity condition, you have to give it that! Young, old, male, female. It really doesn't mind. This, of course, is why being "sent to Coventry" can be such a hurtful experience. Everyone in your class or workplace turns against you. No-one will answer your questions, nor will they help you in any way.
It may easily be seen that this can drive a person who already feels in a state of isolation into total despair. There are those, a very few, who are capable of existing on their own, with only the barest minimum need for fellow human companionship. But to whom do they turn if they need help?
It's been proved that the larger our circle of friends and acquaintances is, the healthier we tend to be. To allow yourself to feel anxious in social situations is emphatically self-defeating. You find yourself afraid of voicing your opinion when you're in a group of people. The truth of the matter is, however, that you find there's always someone holding forth in the middle of one of these groups. And usually he's talking nonsense!
It's just that you find they're the opposite to the poor person who's afraid of gatherings. The one who loves his voice so much, that he honestly believes he's giving everyone else a treat too.
So. While we're on the subject, grab yourself a drink or a coffee or something, sit in your favourite chair and give some real consideration to all this. To begin with, don't be afraid of joining a group, but saying nothing. You aren't a brainless dolt. If someone asks for your opinion, give it. Honestly, you'll be amazed at the result and from that point onwards, your fear of groups will be very residual at best.
I do hope you enkoyed this article and perhaps learned a little from it.
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