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affliction
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Timidity, The Unseen Affliction
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Timidity, the Unseen Affliction

I am surprised that not that many articles and search results that have books or programs to help people to get out of timidity. The major problem with timidity is that alot of people mistake it for humility and think of it more as a virtue and do not see it for what it really is: an affliction.

I kept searching and found a book called - Timidity how to overcome it, by Yoritomo Tashi, written (get ready) in 1916!!! Wow! here I am looking for a solution to this mental problem, and out of the blue a japanese author from 1916 has not just defined it clearly and shown you the bad sides and how it erodes every part of your life, but also how to overcome it...

He explains that timidity is what happens to a person due to distrusting himself because of upbringing and no one there to clear the thoughts in his/her mind. But that is just the beginning. In addition to that, the person having the decisions they make being frowned upon and called 'useless' for most of the time, further makes them distrust themselves.

It gets better; that person will start to rationalize things in his/her own mind, rationalizations that are most of the time impractical, improper and negative about judgements of other people's real intentions and values. That by itself is just a dangerous place to be in.

Some symptoms of people who have this affliction, according to the author, are:

- not making decisions

- prefers to stay alone

- pushed back and forth by people everywhere

- always losing in negotiations and not wanting to go into bargaining

- not being able to communicate properly at a situation, but when they go home and alone, all these amazing ideas and thoughts pop out, which they wish they have said when the situation occurred, and keep regretting not saying it at the right time (happens all the time)

The book is full of metaphors that are beautifully written and clearly described to get the reader to understand the meaning of timidity. A great example was the story of a young man who worked at the palace of a minister. This young man was walking in the hallway of the palace in an errand, when he smelled something burning from the study. He opened the door and saw that the oil lamp got spilled and papers and scrolls were starting to catch fire. He ran out to call for help, and in his haste he ran around the hallways, and in one corner he bumped into the minister himself! The minister's guard talked with stern voice and told him to be more careful and that he shouldn't be running around the palace in that manner. What did the young man do? He froze... he was silent he could not say a thing! The minister just looked at him puzzled, then went on his way. The young man ran out of the palace to the gardener who was the man who he trusted the most in the palace and told him what happened. The gardener immediately went and got help and doused the fire in the study. But at what cost? Too many valuable writings were burnt and lost forever, all because of the young man and his timidity...

Strange right? If that man (note he is a young man, not a boy) had just said that the study was burning, he could have explained himself for his behavior and saved alot of valuable manuscripts.

The book is 12 chapters long, and the majority being how the timid person thinks and behaves and believes within him. The rest is how to overcome it. Truly one of the best books I have read.

A wonderful sentence that he wrote was 'The timid person may at times be compared to a chrysalis of a butterfly, which, for lack of needed sunlight and care, perishes miserably in its ugly envelope, instead of charming us by its grace and brilliant coloring'.

Kindly share your ideas, thoughts, feedback and most of all any helpful books you have read or heard of about this topic.


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