It is presumed that the instant joy at seeing your baby for the first time continues and quickly turns into a deep feeling of love for your newborn. For some new mothers this is true but for others the deep bond between them and their baby can take time to develop. The surge of hormones in a woman's body during pregnancy and their labor experience can play a huge part in how they feel emotionally soon after birth, it is not unusual to have confusing mixed feelings at first.

It is important not to feel inferior as a mother if you should experience such emotions, you would be amazed how many women feel exactly the same, although few are brave enough to admit it until you do. Your ability to be a good nurturing parent is nothing to do with the temporary effect these feelings are having on you post par tum.

If you find yourself feeling low, suffering from Post Natal depression it is important to talk to some one you trust, preferably another mother. The support from your partner can be invaluable at this time and although you may feel like shutting the world out allow family and friends to help you through the early weeks.

A word of warning though, endless streams of visitors and family can in itself be overwhelming and even well meaning relatives can interrupt the process of forming a bond with your baby. It may be necessary to politely ask for a bit of time as new parents to be alone with your baby, consider it as a "baby moon," even present it to family as this, after all they would never consider turning up on your honey moon!

There are situations that can delay the bonding process between a Mother and baby. Some deliveries can result in a baby needing special support in a baby care unit, especially if they are premature. This separation can be very difficult, it can interrupt a Mothers ability to breast feed, which helps in the bonding process and leave parents feeling inadequate as doctors and nurses are attending to their child's needs. Medical staff are trained to help parents handle their baby and develop bonds in what can be a very stressful and worrying time.

A newborn is a hugely life changing event, allow yourself permission to adapt, don't expect feel a surge of love for your baby at first, although you may, but don't panic if you don't. Always take advice from your doctor.

Slowly as you do more for your baby you may notice a change in your feelings and the lifting of the cloud of mixed emotions starts. The love you presumed would be instant starts to develop and the bond deepens between you.

For some new mums this can take longer and it may be that they are suffering from postpartum depression (PPD) or baby blues, it is vital to talk to your doctor or nurses as they will have dealt with this before and be able to offer help and support. Do not hide your feelings away, help is available and the sooner treated the better.

Hopefully you may never experience these emotions for yourself but it is useful to be aware that they may happen. It isn't always obvious to a mother at the time so ensure your partner is aware of potential issues. You will cope better if you are prepared for such confusing feelings.