This Article is About
feelings of guilt
state of panic
breast milk
baby blues
postpartum
losing weight
scents
junkie
acupuncture
verge
Mental Recovery After Baby
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Do you have problems with the baby blues? It is something that will pass or something that has been lingering for days and months on end? Do you wish you could just sleep? I had a great pregnancy and an "undramatic" birth and then....I went crazy.

My breast milk did not come in. Everyone else I knew was breast feeding. I felt like a failure. I pumped and pumped til I was black and blue. Nothing. Nothing. I was sore and my baby was starving. I was told to feed her on demand. I was running on adrenalin. I was like a junkie mindlessly running from my room to the nursery and back. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't make sense of anything.

My daughter nearly starved to death, losing weight daily. This added to my angst and my feelings of guilt. I was a failure at mother hood. I was in a constant state of panic. How could I ever become a good mom? I tried doing acupuncture. I soaked in hot baths with "calming" scents. I ran around the house doing jumping jacks til 1 in the morning. I was beyond depressed and had no clue.

This went on and on. I have a very, very strong constitution and a high tolerance for pain. I thought I could "beat" this state of mental and physical hell. But alas, I could not. My hormones bedeviled me. I had lost the battle for sanity. I was on the verge of losing all sense of reality.

How was I going to survive? How could I overcome this depression? I didn't even know I was "lost'. I just knew I could NOT sleep and no one around me seemed to understand. I was alone and struggling to learn about being a mother. Then one day, I surrendered to treatment for postpartum. I needed a solution to my malady.

I had been to therapy before and did not think I needed it AGAIN! But, I was determined to "get well". Depression was not a stranger to me. Depression had come back full force after I had my baby. I refused to let it beat me.

I was willing and I did ask for help, as stubborn as I am. That was the hallmark of my recovery from postpartum depression. I only wish I had found a support group online to overcome the baby blues at the time. I'm here to tell you, I survived and today life couldn't be better. It is possible, but you cannot do it alone.


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