New To Motherhood? Sad, Happy Or Mixed Feeling?
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New to Motherhood? Sad, Happy or Mixed Feeling?

Omg now I'm a mother

Maybe you are now pregnant with your first child or are just looking up information about motherhood for fun or to help a friend.

You may experience emotions about it and issues about how you think you are supposed to feel about it and how you really feel. Obviously, you are likely to experience different emotions if you became pregnant:

1) After months or years of trying to have a baby together with your husband.

2) After anguish with fertility treatments.

3) While living as a lesbian or as a bisexual woman in a lesbian romance.

4) While a teenager who still needs to finish school.

5) When happily in love but you are both young - just teens or very young adults.

6) Despite the fact that you did not want to get pregnant.

7) Under embarrassing conditions or circumstances about which you feel shame and fear or other bad or socially awkward feelings rather than pride. ex: just had casual sex but ended up pregnant, actually was a rape victim but got pregnant, was helping a married man have an extramarital affair, was with a man one is certain one does not wish to marry but he is sexy. There may have been other elements of a situation that might make a woman uneasy or not pleased about it.

8) The husband or baby's father persuaded or coerced the woman into having a baby although she is either unwilling or reluctant but did not control the money and was unemployed and still wanted to be able to have sex or despite having been willing to forego sex to prevent pregnancy.

Your Feelings

This is a very simple matter, but as another woman I wanted to write something to women who may be going through this now. My own emotions during pregnancy and shortly after birth were quite intense and varied due to how it had happened but also just because I am the individual who I am. During that year or two I recall that I longed for heart to heart talks with other understanding women but found it hard to reach out. Also, I was living as a foreigner and was financially dependent. I won't go into how I felt in this article.

Mainly I just want to affirm that even though you are becoming a mother you continue to have value as a woman and person in your own right. While I do agree with people who advocate that it helps to let go of a lot of selfishness as a parent, I do not agree with those people who act as if a woman has lost her rights to live her life for herself with her own goals and desires the minute she becomes a mother. That's really my message to you today. You can be a good mother and still have a good life of your own.


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