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Stay At Home Mom, Can I Do It?
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Stay at Home Mom, Can I Do It?

Forty years ago it was almost understood that women would be stay at home moms. If they went to college, they might begin a career but always with the assumption that they would leave the working world once they were married and had their first child. For most women this happened fairly young, before they had too many years invested. Times have changed and women have become just as career driven as men. People are waiting a little longer to get married, and even longer to start a family. For many of us, this means several years of hard work and long hours dedicated to a career that we then have to consider bailing on to be an at home mother. You may be facing this dilemma now and wondering, can I do it?

I always knew that being a stay at home mother was something that I wanted to do. I spent my early twenties searching for the right husband to start my family with. Focusing on a career choice was of little importance to me, but rather I was content with a job that would give me enough money to live on and enough free time to socialize. I happen to find a perfect fit but, little did I know, it would become an amazing career. It wasn't long before I was fully immersed and actually became quite successful. I worked so many hours that my coworkers became my best friends, along with many of my clients.

Years later I found myself blissfully happy in marriage with a baby on the way. Uh-oh, now the time had come. All I ever wanted was becoming a reality, but I never factored in how hard it would be to give up everything I had worked so hard for. How could I just throw away all that time, energy and passion? How could I remove myself socially, from my strongest friend base? Could I really go from being a power player in the business world to being alone at home with my kids? Could I be a stay at home mom?

Well, I did it. It was the hardest transition of my life. Yes, I had my beautiful baby who cried every time I put her down. Yes, I was able to cook dinner every night, with one hand while I held my beautiful baby in the other. No, I didn't have lunch dates with co-workers or important meetings that required my input. No, I didn't having anyone telling me what a great job I was doing. And, I no longer qualified for a yearly raise but was now completely dependent on my wonderful husband for the first time in our marriage. Sounds terrible, huh? Well, I'm here to say it wasn't. Difficult, yes. Totally worth it, definitely yes.

Once I got into a new routine and started meeting other new moms it got so much easier. Once the baby stopped crying all the time, I was less stressed out. It took some time to accept that my old company didn't need me anymore and that they had moved on just fine without me. But it didn't take long for me to realize how much my family needed me. Not to contribute financially, but to provide them with structure, consistency and care that I would not have been able to pull off had I been a working mom.

Now, this is not to say that moms shouldn't work. I admire women who choose to do it all. I understand how many different circumstances affect the decision that every family has to make. It's a tough one, no matter how you look at it. I am just here to tell those of you that are afraid you can't do it, you can. It might not be easy, change never is. But if it's something you want, go for it. I'm so glad I did.


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