No, getting a raise does not always require that you agree with the boss, but it does mean that you listen well and hear what he is saying.

A nod may not mean that you agree with him, but that you understand what he is saying.

In a world where constant distraction and limited focus is the norm, the person (you) who looks at the speaker, without text messaging or reading emails, has two great advantages that eventually may show up on the paycheck:

1. You get the insight of the issue. You know what the boss is talking about, the knowing of which may cause you to take action that results in superior production.

2. Your boss knows that you are interested and that you are in command of yourself and not at the effect of outside stimuli. He may judge you as someone he can count on.

When you speak to a person who is an auditory “hearing” person, you must know their language. Why? Because they understand you better in their language, and they think you are a lot like them, and they like you for it.

Does this mean that they consciously think that you are speaking their language? Probably not. Subconsciously, however, it’s very different.

The subconscious absolutely pays attention to every detail. It knows what language you are emphasizing.

Of course most people use all the languages, but each of them tends to have a preferred language. Just as if you lived in the US but had French as your second language. Sometime you might speak French to your Grandmother, but for the most part, you would speak English.

Assuming that you interact with several people daily, you can give yourself a challenge to learn who specializes in which language: visual, auditory, kinesthetic.

Visuals have been covered in the article, “ Success May Depend on ‘Seeing’ It Their Way—Part 1 of 3.” After you have read that, you can begin to find friends among the visuals, and you will find yourself progressing and earning more money through contacts that want to help you.

Auditory speakers announce themselves with words and phrases that reveal their auditory bent: “silence, outspoken, clear as a bell, call, rap session, idle talk, gossip, earful, gossip, articulate, hear, hidden messages.”

This may “ring a bell” with you. You may ”hear” your unfriendly neighbor talking to you. Perhaps you have an idea of how to change that unfriendliness with your new language skills.

Your first priority may be to be sure you understand your mate’s language.

When you show your understanding by speaking her/his language, there may be an increase in smiles, hugs, homemade desserts.

Want to consider children? Perhaps you are not speaking your children’s languages. Is that why they ignore you? Consider your in-laws—they may never have heard a word of what you said.

Like all learning, it will take time for you to use the Sherlock Holmes eavesdropping technique to uncover and test your skills.

How surprised will you be when, after having learned the three languages: you make more money; you have more friends who want to talk with you and help you with your ideas; a boss who is giving you the nod; and a lot more healthy, fun relationships at home and in the neighborhood. I CAN HEAR IT NOW!