No, to reach maximum success does not always require you to merge your ideas with the boss, but it does require you to get a “feeling” for his preferred language and to use it often when talking with him. Assuming that he (or she) has a kinesthetic language preference, you will have a few things to add to your communication skills.

By now you have learned that while most people use each of the main forms of language in any day (visual, auditory, kinesthetic), they do show a preference.

When you use their language, they immediately feel more comfortable with you, even though they may not know why.

In this case the boss uses predominantly kinesthetic language.

Because you want to get a promotion and earn a good living, you have listened closely and feel confident that you do recognize his preferred language.

You learned in the past and remember how you were turned down on a business suggestion, a sales presentation, a casual opinion. (Even a lady with a similar language pattern turned you down for a date.)

You were making no impression; it was almost as if you were speaking in hieroglyphics, and the listener was trying to get the “feeling” of what you were trying to convey.

So what exactly is the kinesthetic speaker likely to respond to? Once you know the answer to this question, you are moving into a position of power. With it, you can speak a language that the kinesthetic person recognizes and appreciates. You grow in his opinion. He senses your similarity to him and feels comfortable around you.

A kinesthetic person relies on his intuition; in other words, he senses and feels more of what you are talking about; he has greater understanding with you than with a visual or auditory person.

He likes “to get the feel of it, to find a solid base;” he wants to “manipulate the data;” he uses sense words like “touch, tender, tickle, hot.” He wants to “shake it up,” he recognizes and avoids “fear, worry, and stress.” His admonition to you is, “stop talking…do it!”

Once you have identified the kinesthetic person, you will usually find another quickly because he may be the first one’s best friend. Friendships are often started and continued because “the friends speak the same language.”

When you begin talking to anyone that does not speak your “language,” you may be uncomfortable, even fearful, that you can’t get through to each other. But have no fears.

One of your first discoveries will be that you have the words that will cause people to perk right up because you will be using their favorite verbs,

They will not even notice your stumbling. When they hear their familiar words, they simply respond. It’s a natural reaction for them.

After you have spent a few days collecting words you’ve picked up from people in your surroundings and after a few weeks of practicing frequently-used verbs on the different types of speakers, you will know you have a great, inexpensive way to win friends and influence people. (Oh! if Dale Carnegie only had known.)

Not only will your friends increase in number and quality, but business opportunities will come flying your way. Knowing what to say and how to say it will put you in the driver’s seat. Name your price, and it’s yours.

I HAVE THE "FEELING" THAT YOU HAVE ARRIVED!