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roller coaster ride
different religions
different cultures
weight changes
different sports
health risks
health problems
family friends
A Marriage Of Opposites: When The Mixed Weight Relationship Reaches Critical Mass
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A Marriage Of Opposites: When the Mixed Weight Relationship Reaches Critical Mass

The bride confided to her closest friends that she had wanted to add a new line to the vows, one where the groom promised to love her no matter what her weight ended up being from year to year. Her family was filled with people who were startling overweight, some so deeply entrenched in their denial that you could not convince them of their health risks with all the medical degrees in the world. Her own personal history with weight was a roller coaster ride through her scariest highs and her most thrilling of lows. Her soon to be husband had only known her for the past few years, years where she had worked incredibly hard to keep up with the body she currently possessed. He, according to family, friends and all of his photographic history, had been beanpole slender for his entire life.

In the not so distant past, when people spoke about "mixed marriages" they usually looked around and whispered the words, meaning people who were of different races, different cultures or different religions. In some groups, they were playfully referring to fans of different sports teams. Now, most people are referring to people of different weights when they say those words and for some of these couples, there are a lot of very serious problems that are often not known or discussed before they arise.

Obviously if you marry someone with a weight problem, you know that they have it. You know that they have an increased risk of health problems as well as day to day struggles. And, if you have married them at that weight, surely that means that you accept them no matter what number is showing on the scale. You might try to help them get healthy but it is not about their appearance. But what about weight changes that happen after the wedding?

Approaching another adult about their weight is difficult at best- even the couple that can talk about anything else under the sun might find this topic way too touchy to navigate safely. It is important to understand that while you are worried about their health, no amount of nagging is going to help. You are dealing with an adult, someone who has to make their own decisions, even on things that affect you and the marriage. That means that you have to be supportive- even if they are not interested in weight loss at the moment. You can express your opinion, to a point, but you can't push. Remember your vows: for better or worse, in sickness and in health. Those vows include all weights as well.

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