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eye contact
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Online Dating: A Natural Development
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Online Dating: A Natural Development

Finding someone in this world can be a difficult task. But ever since the internet came into existence, making contact with different people got a lot easier. As the popularity of the World Wide Web grew, along with it did the acceptance of online dating. And in the early stages of this form of dating, most people were reluctant. “How can you trust someone from the internet?” and “can’t you find a real man/woman?” were questions often asked. But now that almost everybody uses the internet all over the globe, finding someone “real” and “trustworthy” on the net is just as probable as doing so in any social environment.

People are always looking for a connection, even when it’s not shown on the surface. It could be for business purposes where networking is a key ingredient of reaching success. But when it comes to finding a partner it becomes more complex. Because you’re not selling your business, you’re selling yourself. And that takes a lot of confidence. After all, you have to like yourself before you can be confident enough to think that there’s a good chance your object of affection will like you.

At a social event, the first connection people make is through eye contact as the first impulse for attraction is to like what we see. After that the next step is to get noticed by being as charming as possible. If that proves to be successful and the pheromones did their work, the rest is history.

Now, for most people this is an impossible task. Quite a large number of people have a difficult time socializing with their peers, let alone flirt with someone they fancy. Online communities changed this for a large part. It gave the silent kid in the back of the class an opportunity to have a respected identity among others who might feel the same way. And people could finally be outgoing without leaving their comfort zone.

Talking online gives you time to think before you speak. You aren’t forced to respond as soon as you’re spoken to so now you can avoid exposing your insecurities. You can be yourself and you set the boundaries without someone challenging you. Whenever you don’t feel comfortable talking anymore you just close the window or shut down the computer. And when you build up a relationship with a person you do like and everything feels right, you can decide to meet in person. In this case the groundwork has already been laid. So when the actual meeting takes place you already have a history together which gives you things to talk about and the uncomfortable silences are brought to a minimum.

In this situation you are completely in power. You are in charge of your decisions. Not a popular friend who has no problems talking to people, who pushes you to jump out of a plane without a parachute. That friend will never understand how it feels to not be in control.

Finding a new relationship online isn’t limited to just shy people searching for shy people. It has proven to be a great social tool for the elderly who don’t come out of the house much and are alone due to loss of a spouse, or for that matter people who got divorced after having been married for let’s say decades. Cases like this often carry a truckload of baggage that weighs them down. And after they get rid of the excess baggage it can be hard to get back in ‘the game’. And for the younger generations the feeling of time running out is less on the forefront and while the offer of potential partners seems limitless the opposite is true for the older generations. Young people have the future while older people mostly have the past to look back to. But that doesn’t take away the need for companionship. Online dating sites can fill that gap between the urge to find someone new and the absence of a place to do so.

In my opinion online dating is the future. Since the smartphone made its way in society, we are always connected with each other twenty four seven. Within the next decade when people tell you they’ve found each other online and are living happily ever since no one will think anything of it. This digital solution is a natural development that needs to be encouraged and stripped of that negative edge of awkwardness.

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