Meeting a man you feel you connected with is exciting. Whether you’ve met this match while waiting in line at the grocery store or the two of you first began chatting online, at some point you’re going to need to take your connection away from pure speculative daydreaming and into the solid world of an actual date.

But what should that date actually look like?

Setting expectations.

Before you start to stress about where your first date should occur and what it should look like, you need to first make sure you’re approaching this whole occasion with the right expectations.

• A first date is not an opportunity to see if you two are soul mates.
• A fist date is an opportunity to see if you feel any sort of spark.

Basically you’re going to go on a first date with this man to explore the attraction you first felt with him and to make sure it wasn’t just some sort of short-lived interest.

On your first date, you also want to answer a few basic compatibility questions, like whether or not you enjoy spending time with this man, whether the two of you can sustain a conversation, whether you enjoy yourself while sharing time with him.

So basically your first date needs to take place in a casual environment that gives you the opportunity to talk a little bit and get to know each other without many distractions, which is why first dates commonly take place either at bars or coffee shops.

What to look for in a first date location.

If you decide to go the “grab a drink/cup of coffee” route, you need to make sure you pick a venue appropriate for the occasion.

• Pick a venue with other people in it but that isn’t going to be too crowded during the time of your date.

Socially active environments are easy to relax in and usually help your date along with a little communal positive energy. Just make sure you have a little space and a little privacy or you might feel a little self-conscious during the date.

• Pick a venue that is quiet enough to share conversation within.

Don’t go to a bar or a club that blasts music really loudly at all times. Don’t go to a coffee shop where there’s an open mic night or some band playing. It’s hard to comfortably and casually get to know someone when you have to shout to be heard.

• Don’t go to a location where you know everyone.

Your date will be a little more exciting if you’re exploring somewhere new with this man, and you won’t have to worry about being interrupted or distracted by running into your friends the whole time when you’re supposed to be getting to know someone new.

Keeping the date going.

Grabbing a drink or a cup of coffee with someone gives you a natural opportunity to duck out after 30 minutes if you’re not feeling it. Once your beverage is done, you’re done.

Even better, both of these dates are easy to extend if you’re having a great time. You can naturally segue either of these dates into going for a walk, grabbing some food, catching a movie, seeing a band play, or even going home with each other if you’d like.

And that’s the beauty of this type of first date, and of first dates in general. They can become as much or as little as you want them to become.