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If anyone is a parent you know that being a parent is a full time job with no pay and hard when you're a child yourself. If anyone is a parent know's exactly what I am saying. I was a parent at a young age and didn't have a clue of how I was going to take care of my first child financially. I left home when I was 18 years old to find somewhere to go and someone to love me. I couldn't take it anymore.
I never got love, affection, or attention at home. All I did was take care of my two little brother's every single day. So the changing the diapers, feeding time, changing clothes was the easy part because of the experience as a teenager taking care of my brother's Travis and Ralphie.
I ended up staying with my cousin and in exchange took care of her little girl Amanda. I was an emotional wreck because of my depression. I felt free but yet I wasn't thinking clearly and I was not in my right state of mind. I felt like a lost soul.
I ended up pregnant 3 months after living with my cousin and all I could think of is what now??? I was not working, I was only 18 years old, and didn't have anything but the clothes on my back. I left everything at home. This was devistating knowing I was really still a child myself.
I told my cousin and she said don't worry we will get through this and I will help you. So she took me to the welfare office to recieve som assistance since I had no job. I was so upset at myself for letting this happen. Anyway 9 months later my first son was born and I was happy but sad. I knew most of my friends had a normal family with normal lives and grew up in the same house with love, guidence, and direction. I watched all my friends go to college, have fun, and hung out.
I wanted to give him a good home, love, lot's of affection, and all the attention in the world. Something I never got! He was beautiful. I ended up moving out of my cousin's apartment to move into my own apartment.
Taking care of a child or children is a full time job. In the beginning it was rough wondering, what if he get's sick? What if I can't take care of him? So I tried not to think like that but I also knew the assistance I received each month was nothing. Thank god for the benefits though.
Nine years later now four children. I love children but now they are at all different ages. One is going to school, one is playing sports, one is going through potty training, and one is in pre school.
So between cooking for my family, being the soccer mom, running a day care to make a little money, cleaning house, doing laundry, baking, yard work, baths, homework, brownies, etc... it is like having a full time job with no pay. A lot of people do not even have a clue unless you have children of your own and lived it.
It was very tiring but I did it! The house was always clean and homework was always done and my children were always taken care of no matter where I lived. I have never looked back and ask one person for help. I knew I had responsibility and I had to take care of it.
What made it easier and easier for me is as they got older they had their own responsibilities now called chores. Everyone that ever came over would alway's ask how do you do it? How do you keep your kids clean, the house clean, their homework done, run a daycare, and have dinner ready for when your husband gets home.
Easy, keep a routine going and stick to it so all the kids knew what the expectations were. I struggled a lot in the beginning in my younger years, now that I look back at everything I realize no matter how much money you have or what kind of home you live in or what kind of car you drive, as long as you have your health and your kids are happy, healthy, and you love them and show them love and do things with them.
Nothing else matters! I was always independent growing up and I had no guidance. Everything was do this! do that! your grounded! So loving my children was the easy part, raising them was the hard part because I wanted to make sure I did everything right and not do what was has been done to me as far as mental and physical abuse in my childhood years.
That is why I let them play all the sports they wanted, or that instrument, or brownies, cub scouts, swim lessons, vacations,friends over, birthday parties, bbqs, etc.... All that was the easy part! I gave them what I never had and that was love, attention, activities, and friends.
No this does not mean that they got to do what they want! I was a fun but yet firm mom as far as use your manners, wash your hands, take off your shoes, do your chores, and be home by a certain time.
You are a good mom! I'm a stay at home dad and take care of my two teenagers. It is hard to keep a house in order and raise two teenagers and make a living at home working. I love every minute of it and would not change a thing.
You really have a point with what we are missing as children can be the key behind the most important things we can give as adults!
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