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Teenagers often feel unique. With their saggy pants hanging down to their ankles, their unwillingness to listen attitude and their defiantly decisions making, make them certain no one ever been through life challenges like them, especially their parents. I can't help being reminded of the hit song by D.J Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince back in the 80's... "Parents Just Don't Understand."
As parents we know it's our teenagers who don't understand because we were once teens ourselves. Adolescence years are confusing years for teens and parents. Until teenagers discover others have walked the same twisted path they're walking and parents learn to see themselves through the eyes of their teens, it will be hard for them to see how easy parenting teens really is.
The biggest anxiety about parenting adolescent-aged children is allowing them to make their own decisions. Parents know if their teens going to learn how to make responsible choices they'll have to learn how to take risks as well. Teenagers are daring and outrages but also they're fast learners. There is no reason for parent to have anxieties if their teen understands there is consequences. Knowing their parents follow through on their promises influences their decisions.
Most parents experiences lots of stress due to the changes in their children's life. In the area of raising their teenager they often put themselves down. Constantly questioning their parenting skills. Once they realize their child is only going through a phase in his or her life, parents can continue living their own lives. No matter how extreme your teenager is acting, you'll bound to have mixed feeling behind it. However, there's no reason to put your life on hold.
Sometimes we misjudge our children. There's a balance between parent's guidance and children independence. We want so badly to become good parents sometimes we get in the way. We can get stuck in our theory of what good parenting is without ever experiencing it. Parenting is a two-way relationship. It's about learning to understand children and meeting them right where they are. When we learn how to gauge ourselves we become better parents. Often that mean adjusting our approach to each situation.
Children can mature without parent really noticing. Parent should pay close attention to the good things their children do as well as bad. Teenagers often complains that's what bother them most. Listen to your children carefully with an open mind and an open heart. Notice when they make curfew and show your appreciations of them. Parents sometimes need new ideas on parenting their teenagers. Ideas that communicate to their children we're in this together.
Many parents lose their children before the child ever leave the home. Parent's power to control everything and everyone give them warp information about what's going on in their children's life. When parents look at their teen as a person they like to get to know, they'll begin to experience compassion and empathy for them. Adolescence years is nothing to fear when parents seek to understand before being understood.
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Nice article. Both my kids had a couple of years of typical teen behaviour which escalated into total rebellion. We kept loving them, even through the fights, and when they came out the other side (and they will) they admitted to being humbled by our commitment to them through those years. We are now incredibly close, My son is now a father himself and both kids are homeowners with spouses. My 27 year old daughter still sends us a goodnight text every night.
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