This Article is About
television magazines
inner qualities
sexual relationship
unrealistic expectations
teen years
self image
right time
marketers
How Will Your Daughter Know When She Is Old Enough To Have Sex?
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How Will Your Daughter Know When She Is Old Enough To Have Sex?

The reality is that if you don’t tell your daughter what the right time is to have sex, she’ll get the answer from television, advertisers or her friends. Rest assured that television and the advertisers will not have your daughter’s best interests at heart. They promote sexuality in girls from the age of about eight, through clothes and pictures which show that being ‘sexy’ is important and will make you happy.

Sex sells and in this materialistic age girls are bombarded with messages that tell them that we have to look a certain way, smell a certain way, eat certain foods to be accepted and successful. They are taught to search outside themselves for things and people to make them happy because this is how marketers get us to spend money.

The research shows that parents have a very strong impact on the decisions that their daughters make about sex. This means that parents must be very clear on what they think is right for her in this area and send a clear message from an early age. From the time that she is in nappies you need to focus on giving your daughter a positive self-image by hugging her a lot and treating her in a way that shows you value her for her inner qualities, not her looks. Tell her often about the things you love about her such as the way she smiles, the way she loves to help people, her gentleness with animals and her loyalty, as well as letting her know she is absolutely gorgeous. Make sure that she never doubts that you love everything about her, not just how she looks.

Keep this up right through her teen years when your daughter will be feeling extremely insecure. Fathers in particular should keep hugging their daughters right through these years, no matter how awkward it feels, as it has been proven that girls starved of human contact are much more likely to succumb early to a physical sexual relationship to fill the void.

Your daughter will have false and unrealistic expectations about sex. Television, magazines and video-clips portray it as an amazing experience, mind-shattering in fact. The reality is that early sexual experiences are nothing like this and your daughter is likely to feel regretful and disappointed. She may also think that something is wrong with her as she does not have the same feelings about sex as everybody else. Sex without a spiritual and mental connection with your partner can cause a dark emptiness and confuse girls about love.

They are brought up to believe that sex is love and then question love because sex makes them feel unloved. The result is a soaring rate of depression in young girls.

What Can Parents Do?

From a young age parents need to be aware of the messages being sent to their daughters and help them love and respect their bodies. They must teach them that modesty is a way of valuing themselves and have rules about what their daughter can wear. There may be fights but deep down she will know that your rules are there to protect her. Don’t allow your daughter to watch shows that are not rated for her age group and keep any magazines that ‘sell sex’ such as Cleo, Cosmopolitan, Dolly, away from her. Monitor what she looks at on the internet. In fact be vigilant all the time.

Talk to your daughter about sex, especially when sex education starts at school. She will know by about age twelve all about condoms and safe sex but is sex with a condom in her teens really what you want for your daughter? Let your daughter know that whilst a condom ‘might’ and stress the ‘might’, protect her from a disease it will not protect her from the emotional heartache that comes from having sex with someone you do not love. Teach her that sex is part of a relationship and that her body is a gift she gives someone who is worthy. Talk often about how special your daughter is and how important it is that she does not give the gift of herself to someone who does not deserve it.

Make up lists with her about what the qualities are that she would like in a husband and talk often with her about what her life as an adult will be like. Dream about what her husband will be like and where she will live. Talk about the grandchildren she will give you and how you will love them because they are a part of her.

Make a plan for life with your daughter that will stick in her sub-conscious mind. Make a mind movie that she can play and replay as your thoughts shape your life.


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