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Men are from Venus and Women are from Mars. That is the saying, and most times it might feel to be true. But with parenting both Mom and Dad can bring equally effective parenting skills to the party. Those of us that is in the beneficial situation to have a parenting partner must have used the words “Just wait till your father gets home” or “go ask your mother”. We all understand and realize that being part of a parenting partnership can be of great help when it comes to discipline, and also when you might need some time to yourself. But as with anything else in life, it is a good idea to use it wisely.
There are of course the times when you feel you know best, and you hover around just in case your better advice and instructions is necessary. You need to respect that your partner is just as effective in raising your child as you are. You are both in the same boat here. You will make equally as many mistakes and you will have equally as many victories as well. Even if the two of you have different ways or ideas about raising children, it is good for you and the kids to keep your relationship as healthy and intact as possible.
Two is better than one, always was, always is and always will be. A healthy strong parenting partnership is healthy for the kids and can strengthen your relationship too. When you share responsibility of raising a child, the nature and quality of your relationship will have a strong lasting impact on your child’s development. Although the dynamics of your relationship changes as soon as a child enters the mix, it is important that you take note of the chances and that you and your partner negotiate roles and responsibilities. You need to be able to iron out differences and arguments in a healthy and productive way. Then it is also important to recognize each others strengths as well as your weaknesses. Then build on each others strong points.
There are many situations where we all often defend our parenting techniques to the extreme. The Mom’s make Dad out to be disorganized, more than they actually are, and Dads make Mom out to e be over controlling and over protective. Both try so hard to prove that their way works best, while we should instead be appreciating the contrasts in our parenting ways. We should sit down, relax and establish a mutual understanding about the everyday things, like bedtime and discipline techniques.
We should remember that we are both on the same team on the same side. We have the same goal in mind. It is in no way constructive to mutter angry words towards your partner, or give them a scowl face. This only makes your child uneasy, feel guilty and make them uncertain and uncomfortable. We are all different people, and we all approach parenting in different ways. It is good to expose your child to different ways and different opinions that also work well; it is a healthy way to get them ready for so many things in the real world.
It would be great if your partner was also raised by a loving protective parent team, and all the good qualities have been passed down and it can now be passed down to your kids. And hopefully you chose him or her because they are loving people and have good strong morals. So be careful of comments like “hold his hand”, or “don’t let him jump on that”. These stings really bad and you can give your partner the idea that you don’t trust them to keep your child out of harm’s way. Always remember, if you need to remind yourself to keep your child safe, that is fine, but remember that your partner is also capable of raising a child sensibly and safe. None of us are perfect; we all just try our best.
Every single day holds the possibility of a miracle.
Nice article - you're right kids pick up on all the things they're exposed to and store them tight inside when it's from parents. Good to have your suggestions available.
Interesting Article Cindy. Its all about teamwork, don't show the kid any fear and it will work out OK. LOL. Nice read.
Very nice article Cindy, even though I know you meant to say the mom was dis-organized AND overbearing whilst poor dad is just misunderstood:)
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