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Parenting, the art of creating future of you child or at least affecting it, is as simple as it is complicated. Scary thin lines between providing and spoiling, overpowering and being soft; once done cannot be erased, redone.
The best we can do is to consider kid’s personality as we decide how to go on. What is good for one might harm the other. Advises from neighbors and wise books are great but watch out and see your child in his own light and not in a shadow of outsider.
As you want to understand Junior, he is longing to understand you as well. Involve new generation in your household and ask for their opinion how they should be brought up. Do I sound crazy?
Yes, why not? Work out the rules together and make them understand the reasons behind them. Perhaps he suggests far better solution than the one you came up with.
Do not underestimate youngsters. They are totally able to absorb the bigger picture of their lives if you succeed to make them paint it. Do not do the painting for them!
There more credit you give the less pressure they feel. And do not worry; you still are one step ahead of them.
Practice openness with you. Might turn out to be a saving factor in the future. So many little powerful acts that save us from a lot of troubles later on.
I am absolutely in need of your help, and especially advice from kids of all ages; how can we help you with your studies, is there something you want to tell us, adults, so we could come closer to understanding each other.
There could not be anything better than knowing how kids really see us. The world today is so different place than it was a couple of decades ago. Even 10 years makes a huge difference in this century. Science facts have been overwritten, fashion styles come and go so quickly that I lost my track and closet seems to be full of antique garments at all times.
How you, teens, manage to keep up with all this spinning and revolving?
I hope this page can grow into a place where parents listen and kids talk. Over the time I would collect all sorts of useful and exciting info to be used by kids in here. Parents are welcome to provide even more ideas of activities, great links and cool stuff.
Great points here Monica, I have 4 kids and each is different. I can tell the difference from how we raised our oldest daughter to how we raise our youngest daughter. All my kids grew up as military brats and that has influenced each too. It is interesting the differences too, I remember that I asked our oldest daughter once (she was about 15) what she wanted to be when she grew up and she said "I just want to BE" and at that time I didn't understand what she meant or how to react to that. I know better now, and know that at the time I handled it ineffective. I learned though and now try to help other parents, thanks for the article and talk to you later!
"I JUST WANT TO BE" is the loveliest way to say it. Your daughter is a quite philosopher! Perhaps she does not know it but she is!
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Monica this is something I had to learn the hard way. I was brought up where kids are seen and not heard so that's the way I raised my children. When they were older I found out they had a lot of suppressed feeling because I didn't allow them to share. I learned from that so now with our 10 year old I practice listening and I can really see the difference. Great post!
Hi Vernon, thanks for comment. Yeah, it is a big topic. I am a mother of 4 myself, ages from 4 to 15. I have made mistakes, too. Can you imagine how great it would make your grown up kids feel if you go and say: "Hey, son, forgive me if I wasn't there for you. Love you. " You would heel so many wounds this way and he will know that if he does not want to be saying these words to his kid in the future he has to break the circle.
Matter of fact I have Monica with my older son and his respond was "but you are here for us now." It brought tears to my eyes. Now with my middle son and my youngest daughter the only amends I have made to them so far is being there for them emotionally by listening. Sometimes that's the best amend a man can make is with his actions.
You are a good man! Happy new year and get ready to be a grandfather ( it will happen sooner or later!)
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