This Article is About
raising kids
Raising Kids The Right Way
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Raising Kids The Right Way

Everywhere I go, I observed how parents handle their teenagers when they are rude and disrespectful. I listen to how the teenagers talk to their parents. Sometimes I wonder who is the parent and who is the child. Have they switched roles. I shake my head, every time I hear how a teenager talks to their parents

One problem is, that parents have become friends with their children. They don't know how to separate being a parent and being a friend. Parents have given too much freedom to their kids. They have allowed their kids to do what they want, and get what they want, whether the kids were good or bad. Kids act the way they do, because the parents let them get away with it. I have seen kids hit their parents, cuss at them, spit at them, and the parents will sit and laugh like its funny, and won't do anything. Their response is kids are being kids. That is so wrong on so many levels. Parents wonder why kids do not respect them, because they think everything a child does, knowing that its bad, its funny to them.

Parenting starts from birth. If you don't start teaching your kids manners, and teaching them to respect others, no one will want to deal with your children. This is another problem. Too many kids are growing up with no home training, and they are going out into the streets thinking they can do anything they want. Make sure you spend time with your children because you don't want them growing up resenting you. It always happens. I have seen it with my own eyes. When I was in a relationship with my kids father, He had other kids. Every time his kids came to my house to spend the night, he was never there. I felt really bad for them because they wanted to spend time with their father. He was too busy being a hoe in the streets than being home with his kids. As they grew up, They started resenting their father. Now they are adults and they still resent him. Being resented by your children is not a good feeling. They don't want to have anything to do with him and that is sad.

The Apple Does Not Fall Too Far From The Tree

There is a saying, the apple does not fall too far from the tree. What that means is, everything a child does, they have learned it from the parent and that parent has learned it from their own parents. It's a cycle. Kids are sponges, so they absorb everything they see their parents do, and they begin to do it themselves. That is why it is essential that as parents, we watch what we do. Also, How you treated your parents, your kids will treat you the same way as they grow up. I know this for a fact.

I am a mother of 3 girls. They are all teenagers, but what I realized is that, they are doing things that I did when I was a child. Some was good, and some weren't good. I had to do a lot of changing within myself so my kids won't inherit anything I used to do when I was their age. A lot of things that kids are doing, parents used to do to, whether they will agree with it or not. As parents, if we don't put a stop to our behaviors, our children will catch hold of it and wind up doing those same things. We cannot be mad at them, when it was our fault from the start. We tend to get mad when kids do certain things, not realizing that we have to take responsibility as parents for doing those things around them.

One thing I never like is when parents don't take responsibility for what they do around their children. They begin to wonder why their kids are so bad, or why nobody wants to have anything to do with their children. I also realize that how you treat your parents, your kids will treat you the same way. It is very evident.Parents need to realize that they did the same things their kids are doing. We as parents cannot be in denial of that.

Parents Makes Mistakes

Children do not come with manuals. It is normal for parents to make mistakes while raising their children. The important thing is trying to fix the problem. I notice some parents do not want to take responsibility for the parts they play in their kids acting up. Raising kids is not easy, but we as parents have to do better.

It bothers me when I hear parents using profanity around their kids.Everything out of their mouth is an F..... this and F.... That and other names that I cannot and won't say. I hear parents cussing out their children in the streets. I hear parents calling their kids stupid, retards, dumb, etc. I even heard a parent tell her toddler child that he needs to take better care of his sister, instead of trying to kill her. What kind of mother says that to her child. I don't know if parent realize that they are verbally abusing their kids. Verbal abuse is worse that physical. Words stick in the mind, and it can make them think that is who they are.

I know this because I was a victim of child abuse. My mother and father abused. My mother called me stupid, dumb, she told me I was never going to amount to anything, All those words stuck to me. I started believing I was all those names. Because of that, I vowed, when I have kids, that I will never do that, and I never did.

There was incident with my oldest daughter. She was 12 years old. She was so angry with me, that she screamed out how she was feeling. I allowed her to do it. Kids have feelings too. After she told me how she felt, I used it as she opening my eyes to what I was doing. I took responsibility for it, gave her a hug and apologized to her. I told her things would get better. I didn't realize how bad it was until I saw how angry she was. I started making changes in myself so my kids would not be hurt anymore. My oldest daughter was a straight A student at the time. When she entered high school, Her grades went downhill. I couldn't understand why it was happening at first. Because my daughter missed a lot of days in school, due to her not showing up, the people started coming to my house, and eventually it led to child services being called.

I got together with my daughter and her guidance counselor, and we were trying to find the root of the problem that was causing my daughter to act the way she was. We realized because of the changes that were taking place in our home, It depressed her. So I decided to take her to see a psychologist for kids. If she couldn't talk to me, she was going to talk to someone. Once we found out what was going on with her, the next step was keeping her in school. Her guidance counselor helped her get into a program where she can finish school. It was the best thing that ever happened to her. Not only did the program help her with school, They also gave her a job. Her grades started going back up. She is now graduating with a regency diploma. This is how you fight for your children to do the right thing.

I came to realize that some of the things she was doing in school, I did them also. The moral of the story is, be a parent more than a friend. Kids need their parents more than they need friends. Stop trying to live your life through your kids. When parents haven't had much of a childhood, or they have not accomplished what they wanted to do when they were kids, they tend to force their children into doing them, just so they can keep living their lives through their kids. Parents have to realize that they should have done it before they decided to have kids, no matter the circumstances.

Kids have their own talents and their own gifts. Parents should help them to cultivate their kids gifts, and allow them, to use their talents. That's what I do. I encourage my kids to use their gifts and talents. I make sure they know that they can be whatever they want to be.(As long as it is legal) Never stand in the way of opportunities that come to them. Allow them to accept them if it is going to benefit them.

It's a great feeling when people look at your children, and they can see that they have home training. The way a child talks determines how they are being raised. Yes Kids do pick stuff up from the streets, but as parents, it's up to us to correct them. For example, When people hear my kids talk, they can tell that my kids have home training. They can tell how smart they are, they can see the potential in them. When I walk in the streets with my kids, I always received positive comments about how behaved my kids are, or how smart they are. When I had things to do, I never had a problem leaving my kids with people I knew because they were always glad to take them. When people see how behaved kids are, they will have no problems, having them, but when they see kids that don't know how to behave, they are quick to give them back to their parents, and they don't want nothing to do with the kids.

If you want your kids to have a great relationship with you, take responsibility for the things you do. If you want your kids to talk to you when they feel like talking, keep their business to yourself. Stop telling everybody else. Confidentiality between the parent and the child is good to have. If not, they will find someone else to talk to. The other important thing is, listen to your children. You are not always right. If you listen, you will come to realize how right your children are sometimes. Your children need to have a voice when it comes to how they feel. If you don't allow your kids to express their feelings, you will find yourself bailing them out of jail, because some kids will use their anger to either hurt other people, or even you, or wind up breaking the law.

The most important thing before all of this, is Keep God first in your house hold. If it wasn't for God being in my life, and him using people to help me with my kids, especially my oldest daughter, I wouldn't know what to do. God is the only way to go, even in times like this. Always keep God first.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
Busy Families - Making Time With Your Kids Count
Raising kids is takes a great deal of juggling and prioritizing. Busy schedules, sibling conflict, varying interests and pursuits, school, and so much more are part of an everyday challenge. Then there is keeping marriage strong, dealing with exhaustion, and just being a good example to our children. It's no…
By: Ally D in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Mar 19, 2012  
5
  Likes: 2

A Personal Story: Our First And Last Gender Role Swap Day
The idea came to us out of the blue We were sitting one rainy evening, after dinner, in the living room, my husband and I, when our young son barged in to announce that he was starving again. He was looking at me, as if inadvertently hinting that it was…
By: Lana Fleetwood in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 28, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

5 Activities to Make Bonding Time With Kids Healthier
Kids seem to have all the time in the world. As a parent you want that time to count as quality, meaning bonding + learning + fitness. Don’t worry, your kids will love it as long the equation doesn’t say ‘= boring’. Here are suggestions on how you can make…
By: Baburaj Devi in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 23, 2016  
0
  Likes: 1

The Benefits Of Getting Expert Newborn Photography
The current trend with families today when expecting a new arrival is to prepare the best for the baby from basic essentials to newborn photography. It is probable that many new parents would want to have a professionally taken family photograph of their newborn bundle of joy even weeks of…
By: Jennifer Gordon in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 21, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Some Inspirational Quotes for Your Children
Parents are always the biggest influential personalities for their children. Whatever you say it matter a lot to them. When you say” Love you”, they really feel privileged. Such kind words with love can really change their thinking and life. The heroes for children are no one else but their…
By: jasmine william in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 20, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Funeral Services New Forest
When you are dealing with the loss of a person you care for, the last thing you want to do is make things worse. Even if you are grieving and there are few things that can take some of the pain away, there are other things that will make you…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 15, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Reliable Funeral Directors Southampton
People who are dealing with the loss of a person they cared for must always find the support they need to get through this tough time. This is not an easy task since there are so many other people who may not be willing to stand by you to make…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 15, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Your Less Than Extroverted Child is Okay
In the United States, people are usually divided into two groups. These groups are extroverts and introverts. However, people aren't that easy to categorize. A lot of people are ambiverts. These people exhibit traits from the two groups mentioned earlier. Some ambiverts skew closer to being extroverted and others skew…
By: Shaun LP in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 10, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

7 Ways to Protect Your Kids From Chemicals In the Home
If you have children running around your home, you know the importance of keeping them healthy and safe. Every parent wants their child to be able to learn and play in a safe environment. Although many things are obvious to most of us for example, putting those little plastic safety…
By: joel9 in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 28, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Book Funeral Plans Southampton In Advance to Fulfil Your Loved One’s Last Wishes
Death is the only inevitable event in human life. Even though we know it is unavoidable, you tend to forget making arrangement for our funerals exactly the way we wish to. Booking funeral plans Southampton is a wise decision to make that comes with many benefits. The first benefit of…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 27, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Advantages Offered By A Proper Nursery Petersfield
As a responsible parent, you want to be certain of the fact that your little one is going to benefit from all the care and attention that it requires so that it can develop properly. That is why you should consider looking for a Day Nursery Petersfield where your child…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 26, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Tips to Hire Funeral Directors
It is generally the friends and family members that do all the funeral arrangements when someone close passes away. While the family members are already suffering from a hole in their heart of losing their loved one, the additional burden of these arrangements can completely break them. You may hire…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 04, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Get the Best Funeral Services at Most Affordable Rates
When someone close passes away, the moment becomes extremely difficult for the family members and friends. A funeral service, which is the last time to say goodbye to your loved one, should be organised in the best possible way. There are many organisations providing funeral services New Forest that can…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 04, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Not All Funeral Homes Offer Funeral Services That Are Alike
Funeral homes are generally considered to be a place where one can hold and arrange traditional funerals. Funeral homes offer funeral services Southampton pertaining to cremation, as there has been a tremendous rise in people opting for cremation. These even offer funeral services that many people are completely unaware of.…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 03, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Factors Everyone Should Consider When Deciding to Hire A Funeral Director
Funeral isn’t something people plan beforehand. We try not to think about it, thus forgetting about the law of nature. However, during the course of life, we often face the need to consider funeral organisation. In order to make this process easier and less tiresome, many people use the services…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 03, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 1457    Report this Article