The Crush – Best On People Or Ice?
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The Crush – Best on People Or Ice?

We all remember the crushes we had in our childhoods and youth. So the experience of witnessing our children’s foray into early stage amour is particularly amusing. Not to say that we ever outgrow crushes. Married people have unrealistic crushes on celebrities that will never amount to anything but that does not stop us from dreaming.

When my son was in grade three, he had an unusual tale to share with me on a walk home from school. He had received a note during class, passed from a girl he had known since Kindergarten. At this age, this was a bit overwhelming, yet flattering for him. He was giddy and pretty impressed that someone’s affections were directed squarely at him. The note was to the point and wasted no time establishing who liked whom and inquiring whether the feeling was mutual. A date was made to seal the deal, arranged by phone involving parents’ endorsement. The agenda included a shared slushy, one straw. Conversation included school gossip and current music videos. As parents we gushed about how cute this interaction was. After all, an innocent slushy at the corner store was surely a page right out of a Norman Rockwell print.

The relationship involved talking a lot in class, eating lunch together, and playground games like tag with the added benefit of the person who was “it” having a free pass to tag the other. After school activities included neighbourhood excursions and general hanging out. The relationship lasted about two months, and was really just innocent time spent together. They discussed kissing but neither of them was ready to take the plunge. The first kiss, after all, should be just right and not for the sake of curiosity. We were relieved that both kids were sensible enough to know this.

I think the interesting thing about this story is exploring emotions for the first time outside of family, and spending quality time was the focus. They genuinely enjoyed each other’s company and indulged in the simplicity of it. Something that adults might learn from. But I couldn’t help but wonder if these kids’ relationship patterns and traits that attract them are already established.

I love how free and open they both were to explore to the possibilities, and how mature they were to realize their own limitations. I have to admit that I wonder what kind of girl my son will have a meaningful relationship with when he is old enough. Will they come for dinner? Spend holidays with each family? I know it will all happen fast enough and we’re barely out of the Lego stage, but it’s adding another dimension to our parenting experience that is intriguing to entertain. Will he pick someone like him mom, or someone completely different?

I am content to wonder for now and enjoy the last vestiges of his innocence. He’s still my little boy and I would like to make sure he knows how to treat a girl with respect. Whenever he is ready, the person who is lucky enough to have him in her life, as a friend or a boyfriend, is going to be one lucky girl.


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