This Article is About
open relationship
teenage girls
human body
old girl
closure
memories
The Importance Of A Father In Helping His Daughter Recover From Sexual Abuse
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

The Importance Of A Father In Helping His Daughter Recover From Sexual Abuse

The research shows that many teenage girls carry memories of sexual abuse with them from childhood because they never felt properly supported by their parents, particularly their fathers. As a result they never feel closure and still feel like victims.

I recently heard of a case where a young nine year old girl from a loving home was inappropriately touched on her genitals by a male tutor. This child knew from a young age that her private parts were private and that no-one had the right to touch her. She is an articulate, intelligent child, who is usually outspoken and very able to tell people when she does not like what is happening to her. She has a very open relationship with her parents and communication is regular and effective.

The Incident

The parents had employed a male tutor for their daughter through a tutoring college. This man was a professional in his early sixties, a grandfather and highly respected in his local community and church. The tutoring would take place at the child’s desk in her bedroom with the door open.

One evening more than twelve months after the tutor stopped coming the child came to her mother and said that there was something that had happened that made her sad and that she was sorry. It turned out the one evening the tutor was doing a science sheet with her on the human body and when they came to the female body parts asked her whether he wanted him to show her. The child thought he meant in a book but he put his hand into her pants and touched her.

This incident replayed itself in the child’s mind for over twelve months and she said she felt that it was her fault and if she told anyone she would get into trouble. The child begged her mother not to tell her father as she was embarrassed.

The Fathers Role

The mother would not agree not to tell the father and reminded her daughter how much her father loved her and would want to help her. Both parents were stunned. They were angry that they had placed their daughter in such a situation and shocked that she hadn’t told them as the child had been brought up to know to tell them when anything troubled her. They read as much as they could about this type of situation and knew that they had two options, being to confront the tutor, or put it behind them after taking a lesson from it.

Due to the time that had gone by, they decided to let the child make the choice. In speaking with their daughter the parents started by apologising to her for failing her by not protecting her properly. They told her that they should never have allowed a non-family member into her room and asked her to forgive them. The child told them that it was not their fault and apologised to them for not telling them sooner. The family discussed the two options and the child seemed to relax as the conversation went on. She seemed very concerned that no-one would believe her and her parents reinforced the fact that they believed her. They then asked the child why she had not come to them earlier and she said because she was shocked and thought they would be angry with her. The parents re-assured her that they would never be angry with her as she had done nothing wrong and that the real offender was the tutor. The father told his daughter that if she wished he would drive to his home that instant and confront him, then report him to the police. The family then spoke about what they had learned from the experience and decided that although the tutor had done something terrible and breached all his responsibilities that they would take it as a learning experience and be grateful to him that he had showed them all what they could do better. This was the parents better protecting their daughter and the daughter knowing to show outrage and immediately report any similar occurrence.

The family struggled a bit with the fact that the man was at large able to hurt another child but decided that as so much time had passed, it was more important to heal their own family.

How Did The Child Feel?

That night as the mother tucked her daughter in she asked her daughter how she felt and the child said that she felt better and that the incident was now gone from her mind. When the mother asked her why that was she said it was because she knew her father would have killed the tutor and that made her know that he believed her and loved her.

For this family the father’s reaction healed his daughter.


Street Talk

No comments present
You May Also Like
What is An Open Relationship
So exactly what is an open relationship; and is it productive? An open relationship is when two people have determined to let other people into their relationship in a sexual or emotional capacity. Now some people claim that this tactic is used to spice up a boring marriage, but how…
By: L'aShawn Dallas in  Relationships   Apr 22, 2011  
1
  Likes: 0

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work In The Good Times And The Bad
Long distance relationships are tough, believe me, I personally have experienced being in one. I was with the person for almost two years before we mutually decided that we were not for each other. We separated not because of the physical miles that were between us, but because our priorities,…
By: Jaquin Durban in  Relationships  >  Long Distance   Apr 11, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

A Personal Story: Our First And Last Gender Role Swap Day
The idea came to us out of the blue We were sitting one rainy evening, after dinner, in the living room, my husband and I, when our young son barged in to announce that he was starving again. He was looking at me, as if inadvertently hinting that it was…
By: Lana Fleetwood in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 28, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

5 Activities to Make Bonding Time With Kids Healthier
Kids seem to have all the time in the world. As a parent you want that time to count as quality, meaning bonding + learning + fitness. Don’t worry, your kids will love it as long the equation doesn’t say ‘= boring’. Here are suggestions on how you can make…
By: Baburaj Devi in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 23, 2016  
0
  Likes: 1

The Benefits Of Getting Expert Newborn Photography
The current trend with families today when expecting a new arrival is to prepare the best for the baby from basic essentials to newborn photography. It is probable that many new parents would want to have a professionally taken family photograph of their newborn bundle of joy even weeks of…
By: Jennifer Gordon in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 21, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Some Inspirational Quotes for Your Children
Parents are always the biggest influential personalities for their children. Whatever you say it matter a lot to them. When you say” Love you”, they really feel privileged. Such kind words with love can really change their thinking and life. The heroes for children are no one else but their…
By: jasmine william in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 20, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Funeral Services New Forest
When you are dealing with the loss of a person you care for, the last thing you want to do is make things worse. Even if you are grieving and there are few things that can take some of the pain away, there are other things that will make you…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 15, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Reliable Funeral Directors Southampton
People who are dealing with the loss of a person they cared for must always find the support they need to get through this tough time. This is not an easy task since there are so many other people who may not be willing to stand by you to make…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 15, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Your Less Than Extroverted Child is Okay
In the United States, people are usually divided into two groups. These groups are extroverts and introverts. However, people aren't that easy to categorize. A lot of people are ambiverts. These people exhibit traits from the two groups mentioned earlier. Some ambiverts skew closer to being extroverted and others skew…
By: Shaun LP in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   May 10, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

7 Ways to Protect Your Kids From Chemicals In the Home
If you have children running around your home, you know the importance of keeping them healthy and safe. Every parent wants their child to be able to learn and play in a safe environment. Although many things are obvious to most of us for example, putting those little plastic safety…
By: joel9 in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 28, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Book Funeral Plans Southampton In Advance to Fulfil Your Loved One’s Last Wishes
Death is the only inevitable event in human life. Even though we know it is unavoidable, you tend to forget making arrangement for our funerals exactly the way we wish to. Booking funeral plans Southampton is a wise decision to make that comes with many benefits. The first benefit of…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 27, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Advantages Offered By A Proper Nursery Petersfield
As a responsible parent, you want to be certain of the fact that your little one is going to benefit from all the care and attention that it requires so that it can develop properly. That is why you should consider looking for a Day Nursery Petersfield where your child…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 26, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Tips to Hire Funeral Directors
It is generally the friends and family members that do all the funeral arrangements when someone close passes away. While the family members are already suffering from a hole in their heart of losing their loved one, the additional burden of these arrangements can completely break them. You may hire…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 04, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

How to Get the Best Funeral Services at Most Affordable Rates
When someone close passes away, the moment becomes extremely difficult for the family members and friends. A funeral service, which is the last time to say goodbye to your loved one, should be organised in the best possible way. There are many organisations providing funeral services New Forest that can…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 04, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Not All Funeral Homes Offer Funeral Services That Are Alike
Funeral homes are generally considered to be a place where one can hold and arrange traditional funerals. Funeral homes offer funeral services Southampton pertaining to cremation, as there has been a tremendous rise in people opting for cremation. These even offer funeral services that many people are completely unaware of.…
By: Sheraton Veranda in  Home and Family  >  Parenting   Apr 03, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 1458    Report this Article