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The Significance Of Each Child
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The Significance Of Each Child

It was a moment of such intense significance to me that I have remembered it like it was today. I can feel the emotions it held and see the image of those seconds in my minds eye.

Sitting in a café I looked across the table at my companion. It was my young daughter. Suddenly the thought announced itself in my consciousness: “Who is this person?

It is the people that are closest to us that we sometimes take for granted. We think we know them and that they will always be here. Perhaps they will. In the case of my children that’s all that I would wish for.

In the hectic moments of child raising life can become one busy family group. We all depend on each other and yet don’t pay each other, as individuals, much heed. We know each other so intimately and yet, in some ways, not well at all.

Recently I was taking my daughter for a series of appointments that necessitated that we drove over an hour each way. It was just the two of us. Sometimes we talked, or sang, and sometimes we enjoyed companionable silence.

Many times I marveled in how I was enjoying these precious moments. They were jewels in a life of mere pebble moments.

I’m not an advocate for my children missing school for little reason. Much to their disgust they get sent even on the last day of term. I’m starting to come around a little though and see the value of one mother’s wisdom.

This mother gave both her children a day off periodically. On this day she was at their disposal. The child set the agenda and the nuances of the outing (where they would go and what they would eat) and the day was exclusively for the child to be with their mum.

My son is on a promise. He saw the time I was spending with his twin and was quickly upset that life was unfair. He wants to spend time with me away from the distractions of his siblings too.

I am, at once, flattered, bemused and delighted that he would feel this way. It won’t mean a day off school but there is a Saturday coming up when we will be going out for a ‘date’ all by ourselves.

It will likely mean lunch in a café where my son can feel special to be drinking a thick shake or eating a piece of cake that he wouldn’t normally get. This is probably all that’s in his mind when he expressed he wanted to go.

Maybe he won’t get the importance or the nuances of the occasion just yet…but I’ll know.

I’ll be sitting across the table gazing at him and marveling in his uniqueness, wondering at his smile and delighting in this little soul who is my child.


Street Talk

C4rmen  

How heart warming. Blessings await those that see people and others in a different light. What lucky kids to have you as their Mum!

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Carmen, yesterday we went for that date. My son chose McDonalds (not as romantic as I'd hoped, lol) and we had a lovely time. He told me that I looked so beautiful in my new hat that he wouldn't be surprised if someone asked me to marry them. On to do some shopping as I needed new work pants. He passed the pairs one at a time and hung up the rejected ones. He insisted on buckling my shoes and carrying the bag. It was delightful. Ended up that I think I'm the one who got the treat!

Reply
  about 7 years ago
C4rmen  

lol thats great!

  
  about 7 years ago

It feels good when we make time to appreciate moments. Thanks for writing such a memory-evoking piece.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

If only I appreciated the moments as much as the memories. A good thing to consider for me Cynthia. Thanks for that thought.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

That's true. There's a difference - I think you have both!

Reply
  about 7 years ago
Joan S  

Those are precious times that they will remember forever. You are a great mom, Heather. A date with Mom is the best. My mom, a deeply moral and ethical person, taught me about the stolen apple. She said nothing is sweeter than the taste of the stolen apple. Every once in a while, she let us skip school to do whatever we wanted to do. In that the three of us were all very good students, it didn't hurt our grades, and made us feel impishly mischievous and happy. We attended very strict schools which was wearing at times on our natural free spirits. Not to worry, we were conscientious kids most of the time. My niece wants to home school her kids for a year and travel with them. That was unheard of when I was a kid. Similar safety hatches make good therapy for grown ups when they feel overwhelmed and need time out. Just take it. You can still be responsible. The stolen apple tastes delicious.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Your comment makes me smile Joan. I love the analogy. We have been reasonably strict with our children going to school although they have missed weeks when we have a home visit to Canada. Sometimes there is more benefit in informal education. I've had to get my head around this though. When I was at school a report card with 100% attendance was a source of pride.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Lovely. Filled with love.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

That's what our children tend to evoke in the quiet moments between all the frustrations and hard work! lol

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Your article touched me Heather. I traveled quite a bit when my kids were young and I remember telling myself every time I came home to cherish every moment, because they were different kids every time I came back from a 3 month or 4 month trip. I can still remember doing the same things you wrote about. Thanks for the memories.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Yes, if we can live without regrets because the opportunities we have are valued than all is well.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

I look back with regret at those times when I could have enjoyed those moments but didn't. I envy you that time with your kids. On the bright side I have been working very hard to experience moments with them at this time in my life.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

It's never too late to build good memories John. Thanks for your comment.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

What a wonderful outpouring of love, a special moment with their special Mom, you make me want to go back in time to do it all again. So much time was missed with my kids, work, drinking and sport whilst they were still young. I have made it up with them in their grown up age. The special times I have with my son just him and I for a day in the park or on the golf course. We have become such good friends. The trouble with kids they grow up, one minute you are enjoying those time you talk of, then they're in the last year in school, a car and they're gone. Its like a bad dream that you wish you could wake from turn back time. Enjoy them now while you can. I'm sure they love their special Mom as much as you love them. Wonderful article Heather.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Oh the wistful wish of going back. I feel that when I look at baby photos. I wish I could cuddle my babies one more time. Then I realised that I will look at photos of them as they are right now and feel the same way in future years. I cuddle them more and for any reason since I realised that.

Reply
  about 7 years ago
AJ  

What a beautiful article, Heather. I hope you compile your articles about your children and preserve them in a book all their own. They are precious stories showing the love their mother has for them and will be cherished for many years to come. I love the picture, by the way, your son is adorable.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Thank you AJ. My kids do have scrapbooks. I try to fill them with love.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Special moments with our children can last a lifetime if we take the time ourselves to do those little special things with and far them. A simple visit to have lunch with them at school could really make their day....My kids are grown and gone...but now I have grand babies X2.....:) :) Nice article and good reminders..

Reply
  about 7 years ago

That's so true Kevin. I took my kids a hot lunch once and they thought it was xmas! You're right these memories can last a lifetime. It's surprising which ones are significant to a child too.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

This article brings back wonderful memories, Heather, of my kids before they grew up--It is such a sweet slice of life, early childhood and early parenting. And it also reminds me that sometimes 'fairness' between two siblings was a thorny puzzle. If your son is jealous of his sister's day-trip, I predict he's more jealous of the day out of school than he is of eating cake and having milkshakes--for the young, a day out of school (without being sick) is the rarest of miracles--at least it was for me. My wife's parents had a system similar to your description--if she or her siblings really wanted to stay home from school, it was permitted--as long as it wasn't too often or on a 'test day'. When I heard this, I couldn't believe how cool her parents were! So congrats on being one of the cool parents.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

lol... thanks Chris. I don't know if I've ever been counted amongst the 'cool' before!

Reply
  about 7 years ago
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