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grown ups
quitting your job
self actualized
self awareness
Creating Safe Places In My Life
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Creating Safe Places In My Life

This article is all about each person creating safe places in his or her life. It's an important thing to think about and more importantly, it is do-able. There is no joy in continually finding yourself in places that feel unsafe to you or around people who make you feel uneasy. What do I mean by this? Is is about safe neighborhoods where there is minimal violence?

No, it is about being aware of places where you are feeling comfortable and self-actualized. It is about surrounding yourself with people who affirm your humanity and allow you to be who you are. It is finding places where it's safe to remove the masks you wear when you are afraid.

Is this even possible? Of course it is, but it takes a little courage and a little action. It will require your willingness to explore your feelings and emotions and to recognize places and people that illicit fear from you. Now obviously that does not mean quitting your job if your employer makes you feel intimidated. But it does mean having enough self-awareness to know exactly what makes you feel uncomfortable and why.

Back away gingerly from such situations and enter into an exploratory time. Talk through it with a trusted friend. Write about it in a personal journal. Try to determine what makes you feel unsafe in the presence of a particular person and then figure out what it will take to make you feel more safe and confident.

An intimidating person or situation does not have to define you. You must grab hold of your emotions, explore where they are coming from, and then define or re-define yourself.

My workplace can be intimidating and frightening to me or I can do a little soul-searching and make it a safe place for myself. My marriage can feel unsafe, or I can do the exploration it takes to create a safe place for me within my own close relationship.

Life's journey, in fact, is all about the process of creating safe places to be, so that wherever we go, we will feel self-confident and free from fear. Remember that grown-ups are not immune from fear. We experience it all the time, but unfortunately, instead of dealing with it positively, we shove it away.

There used to be one person in my life that made me feel uncomfortable. I decided one day to try to figure out why I felt so uncomfortable with this person. After all, both of us were adults and co-workers on equal footing in the workplace. Why was I feeling this discomfort? I backed away momentarily on one particular day and spent a few minutes exploring my feelings. I discovered that I was feeling fear, and that, in the presence of this person, I was feeling like a child. Just discovering that made all the difference. I became mindful of my feelings and I was able to modify them and create a safe place for myself in this person's presence. From then on I was better able to engage with this person on what felt like level ground, adult to adult.

You can do the same with a little bit of distance, a few minutes of your time and the willingness to be mindful of your own feelings. Why don't you create some safe places in your life today?

Street Talk

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