This Article is About
knight in shining armour
personal belief
infinite wisdom
unhealthy foods
vigorous exercise
building muscle
bad stuff
heaps
Membership Now Open: The Princess Club!
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I’m seriously thinking of starting a group called “The Princess Club”.

Membership is for people like myself who know we “should” exercise and know we “could” exercise but know we’re not “likely” to any time in the next 50 years.

The purpose of the club is to assuage the guilt that self heaps upon us when we read motivating and useful self help articles expounding the benefits of building muscle and lots of puff.

Honestly, the only puff I’m interested in is that of the dragon when a knight in shining armour is rescuing me.

My grandmother, in her infinite wisdom, taught me that those of my family name don’t ‘sweat’… we ‘perspire’. I’ve taken this to heart and have a personal belief that I should uphold the family honour in this department.

Imagine what would happen if I took up any form of vigorous exercise? It’s one thing to live in a hot climate and have the occasional drip of royal perspiration on my brow but quite another to suffer the indignity of sweat! Perish the thought.

People who wish to belong in the Princess Club must adhere to the following:

Ironically, they must have a healthy interest in health! This involves eating everything in sight, in moderation, with the exception of unhealthy foods, which they must naturally dislike. I like this idea, as I’m not restricting my diet at all. I can have as much as I want and don’t deprive myself of anything. I follow the theory that if I put enough of the good stuff in than I can’t fit any of the bad stuff.

Princesses must realize that exercise is good for the masses and be able to congruently encourage others to partake in it regularly. This is especially important if a club member is partnered with someone who could greatly benefit from the routine of exercise. This requires tact!

Club members should always make an effort to be active and well balanced. While it is not permissible to call a day out shopping a marathon, or snagging a bargain in the sales judo, it is permissible to class a therapeutic massage as muscle stretches and a beach walk as a mini marathon. If you have children under 12 months old a princess can loosely state she ‘does weights’ and, if like me you had twins, you can exaggerate a small amount and say you’re training for an iron woman competition.

Princess Club members may not wear exercise gear. A certain amount of reality must be faced. It’s better to dress with the elegance that status demands than to show dimpled cellulite through your tights and prove yourself a fraud when you’re power walking to the mailbox.

Primarily Princess Club members need a sense of humour and a strong constitution. Expressions of interest can be lodged at the local yacht club.

Is that considered a sport?


Street Talk

Tracy Cox  

Funny article Heather. I think it sums up the way a lot of us feel.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

I'm bemused by the response Tracy! I thought it was just me! Turns out I'm not alone in the world. We'll likely have club branches in every continent! lol

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Inspiring article Heather! Thanks. Ken

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Thanks for stopping by Ken!

Reply
  about 7 years ago
C4rmen  

great club idea, think i will join up!

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Great C4men. I'm starting to think I've become a bad influence! ;-)

Reply
  about 7 years ago
C4rmen  

Not at all, I think with your club's philosophy and lemuel's lazy quick exercises we will all be in tip top shape in no time LOL

  
  about 7 years ago

If only we could save the energy we put into all the worry about I should do this or I should do that. great article.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Yes! Imagine what I could achieve if I put my energy into writing sensible articles! lol. Glad you enjoyed!

Reply
  about 7 years ago
Joan S  

Yeah, that's my kind of club. Sweat is vulgar. My friend says he wants to come to the gym and watch me workout while he sits in a glassed in box and eats doughnuts. Now we have to reverse rolls.

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Hmmm... exercise watching at the local gym. We could put that on the club schedule!

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Heather, Having twins to chase? Yikes. No need for further exercise for sure. That is a life time marathon. Cute:-) blessings, Cynthia

Reply
  about 7 years ago

I love it when people support my excuses! ;-) Thanks Cynthia!

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Nope! I'm impressed. Seriously.

  
  about 7 years ago

I wish to be on the board of founding members, I will willing be your assistant president, or any other position you bestow on me. The only thing I wish, every now and then to pig out on unhealthy foods, to be able to report back to the committee on the un-healthiness of the bad food. Please please can I have a post on the board?????????

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Rob, you can run the whole thing - I've listed you as president, vice president, secretary and... on no, I can do treasurer! I was quietly fretting it might make me break a sweat if I had the responsibility. Let us know when the Unhealthy Food research is to happen. I think that's such a good idea we should schedule regular events!

Reply
  about 7 years ago

Read all comments this club is gonna be big!

  
  about 7 years ago
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