Yesterday I Cried
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Yesterday I Cried

And he wept, bitterly.

Seized by fear and unbelief. A long way away from his accommodation, and hours from home, in the dead of night, with nothing but a box of products to sell and a dream he wasn't sure he believed in anymore.

He was a salesman, there on business, and having not reached his target that night he had decided to "extra mile" against everyone's advice, even his manager. He had come back from his sales event at around 18h00 or 19h00, if I'm not mistaken, and then, with his box of merchandise, he went out selling, on his own, without an organized event, to whomever he could find on the streets, in car parks, in gas stations and in restaurants, at night, timidly he tried to sell, without much success, no, without any success. Hours later, close to or around midnight, finally he gave in, on a lonely public beach he gave up.

There comes a time in everyone's life when you must either just do it, or stop talking about it, stop dreaming about it, kill every desire and every yearning for it and just accept life as it is. Either being hot, or cold, never lukewarm. His moment to do or to die had come, and he wept, bitterly!

"What do you want to do?" A voice said to him.

"I don't know." He tried to reply, choking on tears and a broken heart. "I want to stay, I want to do it, but I just don't have what it takes! I'm so afraid!"

A lifetime of neglect and abuse had culminated, on the shores of Margate, into a broken youngster, trying to be a man, aspiring for things greater than himself, things far beyond the scope of what he could 'realistically' hope to become. "You are a failure, always have been, always will be!" and "You'll never be anything more than a criminal!", he had been raised on those words, high school wasn't much better, and now, at the age of 19, life too had rejected him. All that was left between him and utter dejection was a voice he knew not, this voice alone hadn't yet rejected him. And so with that he laid down. Lonely and confused, he fell asleep.

All he had ever dreamed of was freedom. Not flashy cars, clothes, houses and women, the dream sold to perhaps all sales upstarts, no, that didn't move him, there were too many heavy matters on his mind bringing him desperately low and yet he maintained exceedingly high ambitions. He dreamed of freedom from physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse; freedom from the chains of addiction to dysfunction. Freedom from a toxic mixture of fears, from that of failure to rejection to pain to poverty, that swirled in his heart like wine in a goblet rendering him incapacitated. The freedom to be who he knew he should be and not a criminal or a failure. Freedom from a system that produces broken souls who from sheer pain, seeing the world as either victim or perpetrator, perpetuate misery, and, developing a taste for power and control, the slaves become slave owners, and, shackling yet more generations and sanctifying them for a living hell, they continue a violent cycle. The freedom to be a normal successful human being, to be a father and a husband. Freedom, and not only for himself, but for any and everyone else who would dare to dream of a fearless life. Young and naïve he believed freedom was for all. This night, I think he began to realize how woefully under prepared he was. When he so thoroughly thirsts for life, how could everything in him be leading him to death? Or so he thought.

"Wake up", said the voice, "It's time to go."

It must've been 2 or 3am by that time and with lungs full of sea breeze he dreaded the 45min_ at least_ walk ahead of him.

"I can't do it, I'm tired and in pain. I just don't have the strength" was his reply, "I'll never make it!"

"Ok" said the voice, "But what about that orange light, do you have the strength to reach it?"

"I don't know. I hope so." So he left for the closest street light beaming an orange light in overwhelming darkness, and having reached the orange light the voice continued,

"What about that orange light, can you reach it?"

"I think so" he said.

And again, having reached the next light, the voice posed the same question about the yet still further orange light, and, by then, having grown in confidence, determination and strength, I answered:

"Yes".

And so I followed, one orange light at a time, until I had reached my accommodation by sunrise. When the sun came over the horizon and took it's rightful place in the sky it looked down on a new man, a changed man, and those with eyes to see would've seen. We went out to sell that day and I was sick, tired, dirty and hungry. I out sold all my contemporaries. Day after day, after day, from one company to another.

Whenever I follow that OrangLight™, in pursuit of freedom, success follows me! So what I do now is this, I use some of that unlimited success to find you your dream position and make sure that you keep it, in one form or another, for life.

But of far greater importance is that I help others discover and live their purpose, and when these moments come, when life threatens to reject them and destroy their dreams, they, unlike me, will not be alone. Together we will face down life, and succeed! It's not my success, it belongs to the OrangLight™ï»¿ I met that fateful night in Margate where I, like Moses of old, turned aside to see an astonishing sight, and our lives have never been the same since.


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