Some learnings in life are so important that everyone should know them. It should be basic knowledge passed down through the generations, taught in school and reinforced in the work place. A life lesson that is so big it must be acknowledged and respected.

This knowledge, while not rocket science, is the foundation of successful lives.

Following here is the biggest lesson that I have learnt. I think it would change the world were we all to know it and live by it.

I have learnt that there are basically two ways of living. One is to be ‘at cause’ and the other is to be ‘at effect’.

Being At Cause.

Being at cause is taking responsibility for your self. It’s not about being at fault but rather being confident and able to make self directed choices. It means realizing that where your life is right now (and where it is heading every moment into the future) is because of the choices you have made.

If things in your life are not as pleasing as you would like them to be it is not because the government passed a bad law, your parents were dysfunctional or your boss didn’t give you a promotion.

In fact, to push the notion to the more extreme it’s not even because you’re unlucky.

If I experience a mishap I accept it was my decision that took me to that place of misadventure in the first place. And if something truly out of my control takes place I accept that my attitude and decisions concerning the event will influence where it subsequently takes me in life.

Since a very young age you have had every opportunity to make decisions that will take your life in one direction or another. Some of these decisions are mundane; whether to make your own coffee or buy some on the way to work. Others are huge; whether to marry the person who’s asking you or gain a higher education in a certain field. Even taking it to an earlier age, whether to back talk your parents or not.

Being At Effect.

To be at ‘effect’ in life is to believe that you are where you are because of powers greater than yourself. You can’t change your direction because you didn’t choose it in the first place.

When misadventure strikes being at effect means there is usually someone to blame for the impact this has on your life. It’s your mother’s fault, your children’s influence, the government department or even the local bus driver.

When you, or I, are at effect we may feel that the winds of chance and the powers of our universe are an insurmountable, and usually unfair, force that buffets us.

Either way, we’re at this moment in life.

Really, what’s the difference in being at cause or at effect?

Being at cause holds a greater personal power than being at effect.

When we accept that our choices have got us where we currently are then we know that our next decision can just as well move us to a different place.

It is a position of options and strength.

If everything in life is “not my fault” it is a position of “Stuck! No options”. Life dealt a hard hand and put you where you’re at and someone else sure better do something about it because it’s their fault anyway!

It’s true that we all make the best choices at any given time taking into account any number of circumstances. These may transpire to be decisions we’re not totally happy with in retrospect. We take into account the information we have to hand, our own beliefs and perceptions and what seems like holding the best outcome for us.

And if we end up somewhere we didn’t plan to be? We can alter course, correct the sail and fly in the face of adversity.