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A Little Searching For Examples; A Way To Lessen Resentment
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A Little Searching for Examples; A Way to Lessen Resentment

I wonder if you have ever woken up and thought; Oh God, not again. I know I have. Day after day of that daily routine which is common to most if not all of us can simply wear us down to the point where we think; that’s it; I’m not doing it today. I’ll get back to it tomorrow. Then today unfolds and tomorrow approaches and that ‘that’s it’ has repercussions.

Sometimes we have to spend time crafting a lie, or dealing with guilt, or remembering not to post something online when we are supposed to be bed-ridden with one of those one-day, severe influenza attacks, that leaves us dizzy and headachy; but should be gone by tomorrow.

Quite often the root of this rubbing routine is resentment; that re-feeling of agitation and indignancy at the injury and insult caused by having to perform this daily routine when we could be doing something so much more interesting and creative.

The irony is, that of those we perceive to be doing something so much more interesting and creative than us, many, if not almost all of them, sometimes wake up and think that’s it; I’m not doing it today... Why is this? Why do we almost all seem to sometimes think there is something so much more interesting and creative we could be doing than this injury and insult filled daily routine we are performing?

I mentioned above that quite often the root cause is resentment. Yet the resentment itself feeds from something deeper and from what I have been able to ascertain, that something deeper might be a sense of deprivation; or a fear that we are not getting something we should be getting; or that others are getting.

A list of these ‘shoulds’ might include dignity, respect, appreciation, happiness, reward, benefit, recognition, excitement, love etc. But the list could no doubt be expanded to fill a fair few pages if we put our minds to it. However is it really wise to construct such a list? Is there not a danger in seeking out all our deprivations?

I suggest there is, and whilst it might begin with occasional resentment, it could harden into permanent rage and even depression; the illness rather than the feeling that passes in the eating of a bar of chocolate or getting a hug.

Now whilst I would never advocate trying to treat depression by simple psychological exercises and would remind those suffering from depression to consult medical professionals, I know of many who suffer from depression who report that the act of listing provisions rather than deprivations helped them.

Instead of compiling a list of fears that they were not getting something they should be getting; or that others are getting, they compiled a list of things that they were getting. For example they noted that during their daily routines they were getting dignity, respect, appreciation, happiness, reward, benefit, recognition, excitement, love etc.

Admittedly, they did at have times have to search for examples of this – sometimes relying on the Barista’s respect for them whilst buying coffee at a Kiosk. Yet they did usually discover they were getting more than they thought. It was simply that the daily routine had diluted their awareness of it, and allowed the sense of deprivation to flourish.

The key thing they did was search for examples of getting what they resentfully listed they were not getting; but ‘should’ be getting. They proved that their deprivation was more illusionary than factual and found resentments falling away.

This doesn’t mean they don’t still have That’s It days; however it does mean that they have fewer days when they have to craft a lie, or deal with guilt, or remember not to post somethingon-linewhen they are supposed to be bed-ridden. Surely that alone is worth a little searching for examples of getting?

By the way, I am not forgetting not to post something online. This is legitimate.

Street Talk

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