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failure
learning from failure
fear of failure
unrealistic expectations
resolutions
successes
30 minutes
new year
confidence
diet
exercise
fitness
Dealing With Failure Effectively
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Dealing With Failure Effectively

Do you have a fear of failure? Many people do. After all it’s not much fun failing at something even in a small way. However failure is a normal part of life and it’s really important whether it is a small failure or a larger one that you have strategies for dealing with failure effectively and not allow it to have a long-term negative effect on your confidence.

Did you set any New Year’s resolutions this year? Plenty of people did and perhaps your one of the many people who has failed yet again to stick to the resolutions that you made? Okay it’s a failure but in the great scheme of things it probably doesn’t matter a great deal. What does matter is how you choose to deal with it.

How do you measure failure?

Understanding how you measure failure is important in helping you overcome it. People frequently put unnecessary pressure on themselves by setting impossibly high standards or having completely unrealistic expectations. This is tantamount to setting yourself up for failure. Think about it. If you have ‘failed’ at something were you being realistic?

A second point in measuring failure is remembering to look at what has been successful. For example you may set yourself a goal of exercising for a 40 minutes a day 5 days a week, but after 2 months find that you’ve only achieved 30 minutes a day for 4 days a week. Alright you missed your goal, but that doesn’t mean it’s a failure. You will have increased the amount of exercise you were taking before you started and you will have increased your fitness which will have had an impact on other areas of your life. That’s why it’s important when dealing with failure to recognise your successes as well.

Learning from failure

You will often hear people say that you learn from your mistakes. Actually more often than not this isn’t true. Do you know anyone who has tried nearly every diet that exists? Do you know people who continually choose unsuitable partners who treat them badly? The fact is too often we don’t learn from our mistakes because we don’t analyse the mistakes we make. So if you have had a failure think about what went wrong in the first place. Eg. Why is it you set the same resolutions every year but never stick to them?

  • Didn’t plan?
  • Chose resolutions you weren’t interested in?
  • Didn’t think you would be successful?
  • Resolution was more of a wish rather than a specific decision?
  • Weren’t committed?

Accepting responsibility for failure

If you fail at something don’t make excuses for the failure and blame someone else. As an adult you can make choices. They may not always be the right ones but they are still your choice. By accepting your own responsibility in any failure you will move on far more quickly

Learning to let go

Failing at anything can have a knock on effect on your self confidence particularly if your inner critic gets to work and you keep telling yourself how useless you are. Indulging in a lot of negative self-talk takes up too much time and energy. If that inner voice takes control you will keep replaying situations saying to yourself ‘if only’. Learn what you can from the failure and then move on as quickly as possible.

Summary

Some people believe you shouldn’t even talk about ‘failure’ – but it happens, so don’t let is eat away at your confidence. Whatever the situation try and look at it objectively and turn it into a more positive experience and don’t forget out of every failure to recognise your successes.


Street Talk

Another great article and a tweet if you don't mind. Keep up the good work BIS Coach.

Reply
  about 7 years ago
  

Thanks Rodney for taking the time to comment again. Glad you enoyed it. Beverley

Reply
  about 7 years ago
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