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I Have A Lot Of Debts Which I Cannot Pay; How Can I Get Rid Of The Feeling Of Fear?
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At the time you really have problems – and it happens in life from time to time, it is normal! – you search for a solution. Every book you read or any specialist you ask for help will tell you first of all to think positive to attract good things in your life.

Then, thinking about your situation, you find thoughts which bring you a hope. There is no one around us who has never had problems in his/her life. Any person has periods in life when things are not going well – sometimes there are problems in relationships, other time we might have health problems or financial problems.

Any problem we might have we think for a moment that is the biggest problem someone might ever have. Later, we start to look around and see other people having the same problem or bigger. Then, we find out a way to solve it and then everything returns to normal.

In our time, when almost everything can be obtain in exchange of money, having money problems is becoming the biggest struggle someone may encounter. When you have money, it is easier to find a solution for any other problem – a treatment to recover the health, a holiday or a shopping session to forget about an unhappy ending of a relationship, possibility to make some courses or a school to change job…

What to do when you are not only short of money, but also you are in big debts?

You think positive as everybody told you, but suddenly the phone rings, you answer and a rough voice is reminding you of having an overdue invoice or installment or maybe is a friend asking to give him the money back… You feel guilty, ashamed and fear overwhelms you; you feel helpless. They ask you to pay in two, three days, maximum one week while you are still waiting to be invited to interviews and you know you cannot find a new job so soon.

All the foundation of your positive thinking collapses. You are already in panic and cannot see any way out of this situation.

But let’s think a little bit.

By the time you borrowed money you had a good paying job and a good financial history. Otherwise they wouldn’t approve you the loan. You borrow money in exchange of a price, the interest you accepted to pay them for the loan. They lent money to make a business, to make a profit from the interest they charge for money. Any business implies a risk. The more the profit expected, the higher the risk.

The things didn’t unfold as expected and you are, for the moment, in impossibility to give them the money back. In business nothing is sure. When making any deal, both parts take risks and by taking risks, assume a potential loss.

You don’t have why to feel guilty. You don’t have why to be afraid. It is just a regretable and unpleasant situation for everybody and you should take it as it is. As yesterday the situation was different, tomorrow it will be different again. Nothing is forever in our life. We are in permanent change.

They are aggressive when talking to you by phone, but keep in mind that usually, people who are aggressive hide a weakness. The more scared you are, the more aggressive they will be. When they gave you the money they took the risk in exchange of a certain expected profit. They don’t have any reason to be so tough now and to make you feel guilty. They are aggressive because they feel guilty themselves; they are frustrated for not marking their profit and try to transfer over you their bad feelings.

Your friend who lent you the money wanted to help you but he also took a risk. He doesn’t have why to be so upset. If he is aggressive with you now, he also transfers on you his feelings of lack of money, of financial insecurity.

So, while talking to them stay calm, think rationally and be firm. State that it is a situation which you didn’t want to be in and that we make all the best to solve it at soonest. Be confident and determined.

They will feel your inner trust and their aggressiveness will weakens. If they don’t want to talk civilized, shorten or cut the phone call.

In this way, you will feel your self-esteem increasing and you will start to think to the future from a different point of view.

Fear and panic don’t serve to anything. Your interest is to stay calm and find the right solutions.

You can think positive again and be confident that everything will be all right.


Street Talk

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