This Article is About
blah blah
gorgeous children
self worth
no doubt
new business
self esteem
The Importance Of Valuing Yourself And Cutting The Negative Self - Talk
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

The Importance Of Valuing Yourself And Cutting The Negative Self  -  Talk

I have a lovely friend who is talented, beautiful, funny, creative, compassionate, intelligent ..... blah, blah. You get the picture. She's a really nice person. She has a great work record and has held some very good jobs. She is happily married, is close to her family and has three gorgeous children. At the moment she's a stay a home mum and is currently setting her up her own online business. I have no doubt that she’s going to make a success of it.

So you’d think that she would value herself wouldn’t you? But that couldn’t be further from the truth. To hear her talk you would think her role as a mother held no value at all. Don’t get me wrong. She loves being a mother and she loves her children, but she feels invisible to the outside world. She says that no one values the role of mothers and she's desperate to make a success of her new business to ‘prove her worth.’

Does this sound familiar?

I suspect it does, whether it’s something you’ve experienced yourself or you know someone else who feels that way. This sort of thinking doesn’t just affect stay at home mums. People who suddenly find themselves carers can feel a similar loss of identity, or someone who suddenly retires . I’m sure there are other examples that you can think of. For many people – work and the success of their work is so strongly tied up in their own sense of self and self worth

In my friends case it’s making her unhappy. Whether people really don’t value her – I have no idea, but as I’ve pointed out to her you can’t change the attitude of others you can only change your reaction to it. Of course that sounds glib and a bit of a cliché but it’s true. At the moment the unhappiness that she feels about her loss of identity is caused more by herself than other people.

And isn’t that a common scenario?

Negative self-talk is destructive. Get stuck in a cycle of it and it eats away at your confidence and your self esteem. It’s like having a radio running in the background that’s never turned off only instead of music it’s a stream of abusive words. Honestly think about it. If a friend sat and told you were worthless, you’d think they were unkind, probably abusive and the chances are they wouldn’t be your friend for very long. So why do so many people say similar things to themselves?

If you find yourself indulging in negative self-talk for whatever reason, it’s important that you make efforts to switch off that critical voice and change it to something more positive.

Even if you think other people don’t value you (which is unlikely to be true), it’s really important that you value yourself.

Street Talk

Very good article Beverley. This is something that can really make a difference in your outlook.

  about 9 years ago
You May Also Like
How To Get Abs In Two Weeks
So you want to know how to get abs in 2 weeks? No problem. I will go ahead and tell you two things. One, it IS possible. Two, it will NOT be easy. Still interested? Read on. Okay, so it is possible. You have probably tried before and failed, right?…
By: Kenneth Shannon in  Health and Fitness  >  Exercise   Dec 05, 2011  
  Likes: 5

Teenage Daughter - Get Out Of Her Way
Raising a teenage daughter? So much has been written about how to parent a teenager…the dos and don’ts, the right thing to say or not to say, how to act or react….blah, blah, blah. One man’s opinion…’.Get out of her way’. I have a teenage daughter. (Obvious, huh) She’s 15,…
By: Peter Derricks in  Relationships  >  Communication   Aug 22, 2013  
  Likes: 4

An Autoresponder Turned Advertising Powerhouse
Hopefully you have signed up for an autoresponder account and are ready to create an email campaign. If not, get one now, I prefer AWeber. Now AWeber has some great tutorials on how to get started and how to use their products and service, but what I want to get…
  Likes: 1

How To Boost Your Self-esteem By Drawing on Your Past
If you’re someone who has looked at different strategies on how to boost your self-esteem, you may well have been encouraged to be forward thinking and look at the future rather than the past. However, your past will be full of experiences and achievements that you can draw on to…
By:  in  Self Improvement  >  Self Esteem   Jul 27, 2011  
  Likes: 0

How To Build Self Worth - 5 Simple Tips For Building Self Worth
Building Self Worth You might be wondering what self worth is, the simplest explanation is self worth being the value you place on yourself. It's directly linked to having high/ low levels of self esteem and confidence so it is important to make continued efforts on building your self worth.…
By: Ricky O' Shea in  Self Improvement  >  Self Esteem   Apr 28, 2013  
  Likes: 0

Family Should Stick Together
It seems times are getting harder and harder. The rich keep getting richer, and the poor well they stay the same or get poorer. More and more families are having to come together and help each other out. Your family should always be the first ones you can depend on.…
By: Julie Larralde in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Apr 12, 2012  
  Likes: 8

Self Worth Is A Myth
As youngsters we get so caught up in whether the right person likes us or not that we rarely think about the issue of self worth. If we are successful in striking up a relationship with that special person who by the way forty years later we'll have trouble remembering…
By: Richard Kuhns in  Self Improvement  >  Self Esteem   Oct 02, 2011  
  Likes: 0

How to Build Self Worth
There are two ways to build self worth-the old way and the new way. The old way was the one I was taught. I was taught how to improve self worth by making myself better-like I was defective and needed correction. Self worth only became an issue in my high…
By: Richard Kuhns in  Self Improvement  >  Self Esteem   Dec 08, 2011  
  Likes: 0

Self - esteem is it the Domain Of the Schoolyard?
Self-esteem is an estimate your own self-worth. Take a look at yourself. What do you think about yourself? Do you think people listen to you? Do you think people like you? Do you deserve to be liked/loved? The list goes on. As a teacher this has become a more frequently…
By: Tracey3 in  Self Improvement  >  Motivation   Jan 22, 2013  
  Likes: 0

How Can A Person Build Self Value
A person can develop self worth at an early age, but I think it is up to the parents to help with instilling that characteristic in them. See when I was a little girl I was always told I could never be nothing and do nothing except for being a…
By: LP Pierce in  Self Improvement  >  Empowerment   Feb 01, 2013  
  Likes: 0

How Do I Win A Guy Back?
In laying a solid foundation for your relationship, several factors have to be put into consideration. This is because relationships are treasured and any slight move that can make it fall apart is our major concern. However, although we strive to really maintain relationships, we still encounter challenges; cracks develop,…
By: A. B. Sahu in  Relationships  >  Conflict   Sep 16, 2012  
  Likes: 1

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Text You Back - This Is How It's Done
Breaking up with your boyfriend is not always easy to handle. Not especially when he refuses to text you back. You have to deal with the sadness and loneliness that goes with it. You also have to deal with the apprehension that results from the uncertainties of what the future…
By: Charlotte Jane in  Relationships  >  Communication   Jul 19, 2012  
  Likes: 4

3 Things to Consider Before You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together
Are you considering getting back together with your ex boyfriend. Does the thought of being back together excite you? If your sure that this is something you want there are some things you should take into consideration first before you go down this path. Now don't misunderstand what I'm saying.…
By: Kurt Foulks in  Relationships  >  Reconnecting   Oct 24, 2012  
  Likes: 0

Can Success Be Disastrous?
What would you answer if someone asked you ‘can success be disastrous?’ This was a question that I was asked by a friend this week and I have to confess I was initially stumped because I hadn’t been expecting it. Well I know people who appear successful and yet it…
By:  in  Self Improvement  >  Success   Aug 18, 2012  
  Likes: 3

How to Think Positive - Tips to Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts
Think positive! Just do it! Sounds easy and it is. Negative thinking can seem like it is easier to do than positive thinking. Many people tend to believe that positive thinking requires more effort and feel that negative thinking is easier because it’s something that seems to come “naturally”. Well…
By: Natalia Storm in  Self Improvement  >  Positive Attitude   May 13, 2016  
  Likes: 0

Article Views: 1989    Report this Article