A little while ago I compiled a quick book on some ways you can avoid making certain mistakes when you want to get your ex back. A lot of people already know they are doing things wrong because they are pushing their ex away and there is already a ton of tips and advice out there on getting your ex back.

There are MANY mistakes you don't want to make when you want to get someone to love you again, like acting desperate, being pleading and submissive, etc. But the best way to get someone back is basically to change your mindset, and focus on that rather than trying to supplicate yourself to your ex lover's whims.

So you need to do this:

1. Change your mindset so you are no longer refusing to believe you can get your ex back

2. Alter your thinking to a powerful mindset rather than one of desperation

One question that many people have when this sort of situation of a breakup arises, is that they say, "I really screwed up about my ex and he or she is REALLY the person for me. I need to get this person back RIGHT NOW... what should I do? I'm miserable, I'm dying without them."

So when people think this, you know, that their ex is the only person they can possibly have in the world, it's kind of a proof that this person is in a really desperate mindset. They are putting their ex on a pedestal and lowering their own value. They give their ex too much power over them. And this is not the way to get someone to love you again - you shouldn't see yourself as being powerless.

You should not see someone else as having more worth than you or that if you don't get someone back, you will never ever be happy again. If you feel that way, REALLY stop and think about why you think that way. What you're thinking is probably an illusion. Imagine how it would feel if someone else felt that way about you, as though you were the only person in the world who could make them happy.

It sounds kind of pressuring and obsessive doesn't it? Don't you see why that would drive away your ex if you say that about them? As if you're the only thing that ever keeps someone going. It's really tough to deal with and it makes you feel awful if you're the person who does the dumping.

Take a woman for example: she breaks up with a guy. And the guy is desperate, he has no ambitions but making that woman happy. That is really not flattering to the woman. It freaks her out and questions your sanity. You sabotage yourself and the whole relationship because the relationship is about mutually working together and growing together, not about one person being put on a pedestal.

If you have nothing else going for you in your life except for ONE PERSON, like your ex, you are setting yourself up in a death trap. So it will totally effect the way you interact with your ex, and they will sense that you are desperate in this way. It will drive them away, and if you want them back, you CAN'T behave that way.