Pilot's A Pirate, A Tale Of Two Terriers!
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Pilot\'s A Pirate, A Tale Of Two Terriers!

Poor "Pistol" and "Boo" and poor Johnny Depp, the latter in typical piratical manner, smuggled his two Yorkshire Terriers into Australia!

Australia has very strict Bio-Security laws, primarily designed to keep diseases like Rabies out of the country. Jack Sparrow apparently had a different idea and thought that the rules didn't apply to him (Jack Sparrow is the name of the pirate being portrayed by Johnny Depp in the latest film in "The Pirates of the Carribbean" franchise.)

Apparently Mr Depp had his two "Yorkies" with him in his private jet when he landed at Brisbane Airport and took them with him to his rented mansion. He must have taken them to a dog groomer's salon because they were spotted there and reported to the authorities.

A soon as knowledge of the dog's illegal entry became public, Barnaby Joyce (The Australian Agriculture Minister) was 'doorstopped' on Thursday by the Press and quizzed by them about the dogs. Obviously, no-one had told 'Barnaby' of W.C.Fields admonition never to work with children or animals.

Mr Joyce declared that there was a system, a process for importing animals and they needed to go into quarantine before they could be released, "But if we start letting movie stars — even though they've been the sexiest man alive twice — to come into our nation [and break the laws], then why don't we just break the laws for everybody?"

"It's time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States." Mr Joyce stated that if Pistol and Boo didn't bugger off in the next 50 hours, they would have to be euthanased​.

Not un-naturally, this has brought on a veritable flood of complaints, the contretemps has gone international and a petition of more than 10,000 has been raised on Social Media.

The vision of two delightful Yorkshire Terriers owned by "The Sexiest Man Alive" being destroyed by the agents of Border Security

The newly invigorated, post-budget Abbott government very likely didn't foresee that its latest battle-cry, "have a go", would backfire quite so spectacularly.

Suddenly, it's being portrayed as having a go – and not in a particularly nice way – at mothers and their babies and even worse, at cuddly dogs owned by a superstar.

Illustration: Ron Tandberg

Illustration: Ron Tandberg

The accusation by government ministers that mothers want to double dip into paid parental schemes to give them more time at home with their babies is, unsurprisingly, playing poorly in Parliament. The opposition has spent two days accusing ministers of damning new mothers as fraudsters and rorters.

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But the attack on Johnny Depp's border-hopping pooches has gone international, with a petition signed by more than 10,000 animal lovers calling for the lives of Yorkshire terriers Boo and Pistol to be spared.

It is as if the government had never heard of the late actor W.C. Field's alleged admonition to never work with children or animals.

Thursday began with a doorstop press conference by Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce, who announced that Boo and Pistol had been spotted attending a poodle grooming business in Brisbane.

The vision of two delightful Yorkshire Terriers being destroyed by the agents of Border Security on the instructions of Barnaby Joyce almost guaranteed that this story would dominate the news services for the day.

An investigation was immediately launched by the Department of Agriculture to find out, and eliminate the possibility of future evasions, just how the dogs had been able to avoid due process. Social Media went crazy with one website even set up a count-down timer til the time the dogs were to be deported (or destroyed!).

I can now report that "Pilot" and "Boo" are safely back in the USA.


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