This Article is About
picking your nose
mayan calendar
cyber world
mayans
planet earth
jersey shore
riots
Will The World End On 2012?
Join 1000's of Authors at StreetArticles Today!

Will the World End On 2012?

It seems like the end times are upon us, uh?

There are so many signs. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer. Riots and protests are breaking out everywhere. War, famine, Jersey Shore. And the idea is so mainstream! Didn't you see that movie about it? It was so epic, it had to be accurate too. The History Channel is constantly insinuating it. Our neighbors are saying it. The news is saying it.

Is it happening? Could the world really be coming to an end?

Let's ask the Internet.

The Mayan Calendar

O, Internet, does the Mayan Calendar predict the end of the world on 2012?

"Nay, human," the Internet replied. "The Mayan calendar doesn't predict the end of the world. It predicts the end of the age.

"End. Age.

"Are you listening, human? Stop picking your nose and listen.

"Therefore, furthermore, and additionally, the end of the age is December 24, 2011. Since the Mayans knew their stuff, we can safely conclude that the age has already ended.

"Or, if you're a zealot, the world has already been destroyed. A belated RIP to everyone. "

O thank ye, O Internet.

The Bible

O, Internet, the book of Revelations says the world will be destroyed in--

"Shut up," the Internet cut across. "The book of Revelations talks about the End Times.

"End. Times.

"There is no discussion about the planet Earth being destroyed. Rather, come the End Times, the dead will come back to life, angels will educate anyone who doesn't know about God, and anyone who wants to will be made immortal, even those in Gehenna, or what most of you know as Hell. Nobody's actually going to burn for the rest of eternity. That's pretty jacked up, man.

"Therefore, furthermore, and additionally, if you really wanted to, you could choose to cease to exist, but otherwise we're all stuck in the real world. Or the cyber-world, as the case may one day be."

O thank ye, O Internet. By the way, I'm looking forward to that.

Nostradamus

O, Internet, Nostradamus predicts--

The Internet sighed loudly. "Nostradamus? Seriously?"

"Nostradamus made about four or five semi-accurate predictions.

"Every other one of his predictions has been wrong.

"Wipe that stupid look off your face and let me explain.

"Here's the thing about predictions, human: they always come true. Sooner or later 'Earthshaking fire from the center of the Earth Will cause tremors around the New City.' It's bound to happen. It's this thing called the Law of Big Numbers at work.

"Let me elaborate. Say there is a 0.00000003% possibility of a poor unsuspecting cow dying by laughter (for example's sake). Since there are six billion cows on Earth, the possibility of ANY one of them dying by laughter rises to an astronomical 18%. So 'a younger lion [was bound to] overtake an older one' at some point in history because there is always a chance of it happening, however small it is.

"Any possibility is possible.

"Therefore, furthermore, and additionally, Nostradamus didn't just predict events in the 21st century; he predicted all the way up to the 86th. If he's the real deal, then the Earth gets to grow old. He predicted some good things for it, too."

O thank ye, O Internet.

"S'aright."

So it looks like we can afford to be optimistic. The world will not end on 2012. Probably.

Start doing something productive with your life and stop worrying about whether or not you can survive a zombie apocalypse. You could write a story or two. Start an online business. Play with yourself. Anything. Just remember to try, and to aim for the day after tomorrow.


Street Talk

Good job -)

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Thanks, don't forget to click "like". :)

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Very nice job. A good article.

Reply
  about 9 years ago

Thank you, I try.

Reply
  about 9 years ago
You May Also Like
Getting Turned Down Is No Fun But You Have To Keep Going
You notice her right away. Just your type. She is gorgeous and to your surprise she looks right at you and smiles. You have the green light (you think) and make your approach. You say hello and begin to introduce yourself. At least, you thought you said hello. Judging by…
By: Jeff M. Stevens in  Relationships  >  Dating   May 11, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

The Year it All Ended, 2012?
I have heard on a number of occasions that the world is about to end. In fact, on December 21, 2012, we can assume that THIS IS IT. No, this is not the Michael Jackson tour that never was... THIS. IS. IT. The end...kaput, nothing more to worry about or…
By: Kyle in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Jan 03, 2012  
49
  Likes: 38

What Happened to the End Of the World?
Well 21st December 2012 has come and gone without world shattering catastrophe! Why was such catastrophe predicted, and why did it not happen? The 2012 Phenomenon The predictions of an end-time apocalypse are based on the end of a 5125 year cycle described by the Mayan calendar. This was then…
By: David van Zijl in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Dec 23, 2012  
2
  Likes: 2

Driving Retests
Compulsory Driving Retests Currently, the UK legal age for driving a car is 17. In theory, a 17 year old could obtain a license, take an intensive course, pass a test and be on the road within a month. 1.6 million people take attest every year with a 43% pass…
By: Dave Page in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   May 07, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

Next Steps
ive been walking down the aisle way wondering when things would go my way what to do and how to get it done? sometimes all i want to do is run than i see the setting sun and for a moment i thought i won then i wake up and…
By: Yvonne van Leeuwen in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Mar 31, 2016  
0
  Likes: 0

E Cigarettes In the Workplace?
Should e cigarettes be allowed in the workplace? I remember a time when we used to smoke in our workplace. A long time ago I was sent to the Netherlands on a business trip. When I arrived in our Amsterdam offices I was happy to see that people could still…
By: isabelle3 in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Jul 26, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

Is Nicotine Good for You?
By trying to demonize tobacco to inform smokers of the potential health risks, governments and anti-smoking agencies have given a bad reputation to nicotine without any real research having been done on this chemical. After all, nicotine was used as an insecticide in the past. So nobody wondered how it…
By: isabelle3 in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Jul 22, 2013  
0
  Likes: 0

What Is the World Coming To?
Don't worry I'm not going to rant and rave about religion in this article. I am, however, going to vent about something that is truly upsetting and dear to my heart: The Wendy's Frosty. A couple of days ago I went to Wendy's. It was pretty late at night, and…
By: Thomas H in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Sep 05, 2011  
1
  Likes: 1

Wisconsin High Court Upholds Collective Bargaining Law Limits - Were Does That Leave the Common Man?
What does it mean that the Wisconsin high court upholds the collective bargaining law limits? It means that the average civil servant in Wisconsin now works for a tyrant who will choose how much he or she makes, the working conditions, length of contract, pensions and so on. It appears…
By: Octavien in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Jun 14, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

Participate In the Sport Using the Top Wow Gold Sites Suitable Mindset
For anyone who is one of several PVP #@*acb$123@#$##D#leiyan participants with Whoa,Since most of us expend a lot more time frame amongst people, most of us place to ignore the unique seek to buying wow gold participate in that video game. Of course, were actively playing that video game simply…
By: appgamenews in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Aug 11, 2015  
0
  Likes: 0

Why Singapore And Other Countries Beat US In Math A Nd Reading
There is a stereotype in place that, compared to Americans, Asian children are extremely smart. particularly in the areas of math, science and reading, kids grow up to best other American students in these areas. In fact, Singapore primary four students rank as the best in the world in math…
By: Kimberly Shen in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Nov 24, 2014  
0
  Likes: 0

Play Football, Save A Teacher: Poughkeepsie High School Football Player Does it All
I happened to come across a news story which simply defies all imagination and you may have heard or seen of it too... a student at New York's Poughkeepsie High school innocently went to school one day only to find that he had to break up a potentially lethal fight…
By: Elyse in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Dec 24, 2011  
0
  Likes: 1

AMERICA NEEDS TO STAY HOME
I say America Needs To Stay Home because with the new offensive in Libya we are now actively involved in 3 war fronts all in Arab countries. We should have never been involved in Iraq which cost countless American lives and used revenues we could scant afford to spend. All…
By: Peter Ruth in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Mar 25, 2011  
0
  Likes: 0

The Library Of the Future: Does the Trend In Electronic Reading Devices Mean the Inevitable Extinction Of Tangible Books?
When you enter a library, any library, you the first thing you notice is the subdued atmosphere. The same usually holds for bookstores. Employees and volunteers at either usually speak in semi-hushed tones and seem sedate in their manner. Another thing you notice in a library is the faint smell…
By: AnnMarie in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   Mar 17, 2012  
14
  Likes: 6

The End Of The World Is When?
The answer? I don't know but I'm hoping it won't be until the sun goes super nova in several million years. With all of these people predicting the end of the world, the most recent as we all know being May 21st, oops October 21st or was that sometime in…
By: Ian Worrall in  News and Society  >  Pure Opinion   May 27, 2011  
1
  Likes: 1

Article Views: 1759    Report this Article