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Are You Actually Ready For A Relationship?
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Are You Actually Ready for A Relationship?

Are you ready for a relationship? Are you even ready for a little fling with a special someone??

These really are great questions and where you SHOULD be starting off. Unfortunately, most of us have the habit of starting off by asking this question.. "How do I get the girl/guy that I desire?" Now, I want you to know that their is absolutely nothing wrong with asking this question first. It is our basic sexual desire that drives a majority of the things we do, and of course we really would rather settle down with our most desirable choice. HOWEVER, and this is big.. Ask yourself this.. Should I use trickery to get this person to like me?...

Now ladies, I am not telling you not to wear makeup or doll yourself up. Gentleman, I am not telling you not to workout or wear your bling. What I am getting at is all of these tips and tricks that we tend to see on the internet or in magazines. What are they really doing for you? They are forcing you to do things that are not in your own nature to do, which means that instead of focusing on just being there with that person, in that time and space, you are off in your own head analyzing what your next step is going to be in this process. So, here is where I want to lend a little advice.

#1. Money. Unlike what you may have heard all over the place, money is very important. I will explain why in one moment, but first let me say this again.. MONEY IS VERY IMPORTANT! People tend to think that money is very important because it makes a girl (or guy in some cases) feel well taken care of, bla bla bla.... Nope. Well, some girls/guys sure... BUT, that is not what I am getting at either.

Having money gives you the ability to create an atmosphere that you are comfortable in. You can pick a place you'd like to hang out in where you can make that significant other smile and laugh with you just by being yourself. You don't have to be rich to do this, you only need to be well together. Someone who obviously takes care of themselves and works hard. You really do get what you deserve, and if you haven't worked for anything, you will not receive what you want in the long run. Make a success of yourself first. With success comes confidence, power and money which are ALL attractive qualities.

#2. Always be yourself. I hear people talking all the time about the rate of divorce and how there are so many options out there that settling down and staying settled is hard. Let me tell you why the divorce rates are really rising.. Its because people are not getting what they signed up for. You might be saying to yourself that people have always tried to put their best selves out there at first to impress the significant other. That is true and perfectly acceptable. I personally believe that putting your best self out there should be done as much as possible, and shouldn't stop just because a relationship has started. What I am saying is, if you sign up for this nice, sweet, adorable person who makes you smile and laugh, and 6 months (or more) later you end up with a whiney, jealous, conceded numbskull who belches like a homeless wine-o and no longer takes care of themselves then why WOULDN'T your eyes start to wander. If you tend to be a little bit more of a jerk/b*tch at times, then let it right out there. I can assure you it will be better to lose someone right off the bat than to develop actual feelings and have your heart broken because your relationship was based on lies.

Stay the hell away from these pick-up artists. You do realize that a LOT of them are not quite what they seem right? Let me ask you something. What does it take to write a book about anything that isn't an actual science? Do you actually need knowledge? Or do you have to write about something that people are interested in and are willing to believe a bunch of crap about. Let me explain something to you. You have a basic personality, a certain part of your psyche that can't be changed. You may be able to slightly modify it for a small period of time, but when all is said and done, you are still that same person inside. No pick-up guru can change you with a few words or lessons by walking you out into a bar and teaching you a few tricks. You might be able to start up a conversation, but then you are still going to have to take the lead of that conversation sooner or later. I can assure you that you will not memorize what to say for an entire night, and THEN make a substantial relationship out of it.

#3. Comfort. What you can do is put yourself in a position where you are comfortable and able to completely be yourself with people that are like you. If you like to party then go out to a bar and party but if that is not your thing then don't. Plain and simple. Don't start yourself out in a situation you are already uncomfortable in. If you are into cooking, why not walk into a grocery store and walk up to your favorite thing to cook. If there is someone you find attractive there, BOOM you have a conversation all set and ready to go. It is something you like, that you are comfortable talking about while just being yourself, and that first conversation is going to be the key to any future conversations. DO NOT hang around your favorite items and wait for people to come by. Someone might wonder what the creepy person is doing next to their favorite food. If nobody is there, move on. There will be other times and other places.

The best thing about making sure that you are comfortable first, is you will create an atmosphere or as some like to call an "aura" of comfort around you which will generally make someone else feel comfortable too. Have you ever talked to someone and just felt comfortable talking to them even though you were feeling shy? It is usually because they were so comfortable talking to you. Think of your head having an antenna on it and the feelings that you have inside get projected outward towards the others in the area. This happens because of subtle cues that you are giving out and they are picking up on, BUT when you put yourself in a situation where you are completely comfortable, guess what... That doesn't happen all that much.

#4. Are you sitting around wondering why it hasn't happened yet? Then I would like you to read numbers 1, 2, and 3 again.

Have the money to put yourself in a comfortable position with another person, be yourself and yes be the best version of yourself, and stay out of your own way by staying out of your own head. Do not rehearse what you are going to do. This will not be natural and will end up, sooner or later, driving that person away when they realize that you are not what they signed up for.

You have to start with the man/woman in the mirror. Look at yourself. Both physically and the person within. Look at your circumstances. Are you in a ton of debt and are constantly stressed out? Are you out of shape? Do you have a habit of being a turd to people? What about your hygiene, can that be improved? If you look at yourself and don't think that you are a good catch, then you are not ready for a relationship. If you look at yourself and wouldn't date someone else who is in your exact situation, but think that someone else should date you, you are not ready for a relationship and are clearly delusional. Start with yourself. Build yourself into a person who deserves to be loved first, then go from there.


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