If you've been spending time online researching ways to get your ex back after a breakup, you've undoubtedly heard of a little thing called "no contact." People argue about it hotly. Some say it works, and some people say it doesn't.
The truth is: no contact after breakup situations DOES work, and here's why.
1. No contact allows you to rest and recover - and most importantly, get RATIONAL.
After a breakup, people are hotly emotional. Desperation, panic, and depression are all common states of mind to be in after a breakup.
Unfortunately, this makes for a really bad way to be when you want to get your ex BACK, so, you've got to break that pattern of emotions and get rational again.
You also need to allow yourself time to heal after the breakup - which no contact allows you to do.
2. No contact makes him wonder.
What's more powerful than emotion, words, and passion combined?
It might surprise you, but silence is intensely powerful in creating interest from your ex.
Think about it. Who would you be more interested in: the guy who shouts and frantically waves to get your attention, or the one who quietly sits at the back of the bar with an intense look in his eyes?
It's the same for a woman. If you go quiet after a breakup - if you say NOTHING to reveal your state of mind to him - he will really, really want to know what's going on with you.
So no contact works by creating curiosity from your ex and making him wonder: "what the heck is up with her?"
3. No contact gives YOU the power.
Up til now, your ex has been the one calling the shots. He dumped you, he had all the power in the relationship.
No contact lets you take back power in the relationship, because it makes HIM want to know what's up.
Silence is actually way more powerful than texting your ex and desperately begging him to take you back. In fact that's going to push him farther away, because desperation just isn't attractive.
So turn off your phone. Turn off your email. If you see messages from him, don't respond right away, and when you do finally respond, just say:
"Hey, I'm doing well. Hope you are, too. Really in a good place in my life." Something to that effect. Do not mention the breakup. Do not say you miss him. Do nothing to indicate that you CARE too much, because the attitude of caring too much will get him thinking that he still has power over you.
If you have to see him on a regular basis, still keep the no contact rule in mind. Keep your interactions short and sweet. This really is effective in making you seem like the one in control.
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